Here’s a little back story on Lady G.
I went to a prestigious New England prep school for highschool, where my horizons were broadened and I found a great appreciation for learning.
I went on to college, various internships and jobs in television production, PR, marketing. Ultimately, Mr. Gaga and I ended up in Connecticut. I worked for a nonprofit doing program development, fundraising and grant writing.
Doing good works was not part of my plan. It’s not exactly what I thought was my cup of tea.
I found it a challenge, yet also found it fulfilling and worthwhile. I felt good about working a 12 hour day to benefit sick children. I felt much better about that than I did working a 12 hour day for Viacom.
When I was pregnant with Sam, the nonprofit shut its doors and I ended up home with a one-year-old, by default.
Something else that was not part of my plan.
While also rewarding and fulfilling in some ways, I have struggled to find myself and find meaning in life as a stay-at-home mom.
I have found it difficult to consider my children my sole reason for being. I have shuddered to think that I was put on this earth to raise 2 children, grocery shop and keep the toilets clean.
Very early on I started working a mindless part-time job just to keep myself sane. Let’s say for the sake of anonymity I sell push-up bras. I help women to look good and feel good. It’s fun. It’s harmless. Meaningful? Not so much.
This week I went to the CT Forum to hear a panel discussion on leading a meaningful life.
The panel included smart important people who were doing great things in the world. One of the panelists was Tim Shriver, who besides being the son of Eunice Kennedy and Sargent Shriver, is the chairman of the Special Olympics. He also went to Yale undergrad, and then to about 65 other schools to collect various degrees, and has 5 children, looks like a Kennedy, and is brother-in-laws with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He was so dynamic when he spoke about the meaning of life, and how important it is to give back and to be someone who makes change in the world.
He has done so much and in the midst of it all his hair is always that perfect Kennedy hair that gives you hope and makes you feel all is right with the world.
It made me think about what I do.
You know…sell push up bras….clean the occasional toilet…..make dinner.
Another panelist was a man named Larry Brilliant. He has among other small tasks, headed the philanthropic arm of Google, cured 3 million people of blindness, and eradicated small pox.
The man is a genius, so I understand that I could never even dream of accomplishing anything that he has.
However the fact that while these people are changing the world, I am earnestly attempting to teach my husband and kids how to change the toilet paper, I literally cannot keep track of the socks of the 4 people who live in my house and I have looked at my 2nd grader’s homework and found it overwhelming….probably indicates a slight problem.
“What am I going to do with my life? You don’t understand because you have a purpose and your life has meaning….” I said to Mr. Gaga the next day with despair.
“Your life has meaning too, with your family.” he answered simply.
“That’s it? That’s my whole life? Just being a mom?” I asked incredulously.
“What? That can’t be it! I don’t even think I am doing a good job with that…they watch SpongeBob and swear.” I said throwing myself onto my bed with dramatics.
“What will my tombstone say? Here lies Lady G, she sold push-up bras and called kids assholes on her blog? And what about when the kids leave? What will I do then??”
“It will be time for us to be together, and enjoy life.” he said with a smile, imagining us probably on a beach somewhere loving each other.
All I could see in my mind were the creepy old people in the Cymbalta ad.
“WHAT?? NO!!!! I hate that plan!!! That’s a horrible plan!!!!
“Ok, great!” Mr. Gaga answered sarcastically, “Then go get a job you crazy bitch!”
(He didn’t say “crazy bitch” but I could see it in his eyeballs that he wanted to. He generally is very nice and patient, but can only take so much.)
Well, you will probably be working and the kids will be gone, and I will be home with like 5 cats….I guess I will just stare out the window and pet the cats all day.” I said with disgust.
“We are not getting cats….I hate cats.” he said firmly.
“So do I!!! I would never want a cat…but I think that when you are alone all the time with nothing to do that’s what happens! That’s the point! Your life is so boring and empty that you forget that you hate cats and you turn into a crazy cat lady.”
He just stared at me.
How can I raise two children successfully and be fully invested in that, and still find a way to preserve a piece of myself, while simultaneously keeping Mr. Gaga around?
Does anyone have the answers??
This is probably why I have the tendency to be Lindsay Lohan…..just sayin.
It’s just not as easy as Tim Shriver’s hair makes it look.
PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW …IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PLACE IN THE WORLD….XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA