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The Evolution of Date Night

Thank you to everyone who sent me their summer spirit emails and pictures and for all the tweets and shares this week.

It was tough to pick just one deserving person to gift this TROPICAL BREEZE FLOAT to….

But one person caught my eye – she sent lovely pictures and she went so far as to make up a Haiku about the Tropical Breeze.  Her name is Karadactyl and she is the winner of heaven on earth.

And now back to my life…..

When my children were little, just a mere 18 months apart, every day my goal was to survive the day.  In the summer, I would lug them to the beach, along with chairs, bottles, snacks, floaties, SPF, toys and balls.

After dinner we would all be zombies and I would be looking at the clock desperate to get them into their beds.

No matter how tiring their days were, inevitably since birth Michael has never been tired enough to go to sleep in a timely fashion.  I have pretty much spent the past 9 years yelling at him to get into his bed.

Every night of my life I have to tell him to go to bed, and then I have to go to his room and tell him to get into the bed because he will be lingering around near his bed doing something else, and then I will have to tell him to actually go to sleep millions of times after that.

It’s infuriating…

Sometimes I will be settled in watching a show and ready to relax and he will come meandering downstairs asking for water or something as equally stupid and annoying….

I can’t stand it.


When the kids were little at least once a summer, my mother would babysit and Mr. Gaga and I would escape to a nearby restaurant on the water.  This was so luxurious.  To have someone else put my children to bed while I drank a martini looking out at the ocean was heavenly.  Also, most importantly it gave Mr. Gaga and I a chance to hang out and reconnect.

When the kids were very little, we were so tired we would just stare at each other in a dazed, shell-shocked state.  But we were still so happy to be free.

We would try to recreate what date night once was before we had kids. We would try to gaze into each others bleary eyes and be romantic.


It was just never quite the same.

As the children grew and our lives became more manageable, we have really enjoyed our date nights as a chance to catch up with each other, as we become two ships in the night with work, school, and kids’ activities taking over our lives.

But, this summer was different than ever before.

I mentioned how my kids have become quite independent this summer.  They suddenly have their own agenda.

On the beach they are nowhere to be found.  They are either in the water with friends or hanging out at the playground or boardwalk.

This week Mr. Gaga and I both took the week off so that we could enjoy a staycation.  Every day we headed down to the beach as a family, only to find ourselves alone within minutes.

The other day, Sam wandered over to Mr. Gaga and I to ask us what time it was.  He plopped down into a tube that was sitting on the sand.  We started chatting about going back to school and other topics.  After about ten minutes, Sam looked around and said “Oh God, How long have I been sitting here with you guys?” I have to go.” and hopped up and left us.

Modern Family - Series 05 Episode 20

….And……we are alone again.

All that talk a couple weeks ago about reading my book…..

and this week I had more time than I knew what to do with. I READ TWO BOOKS!!

So when we actually went on our date this week it was very different.  First off – my mom doesn’t really have to watch them. She fed them and then they hopped on their bikes and went off with their friends like they do every night.  They play basketball or play games on the beach.  The play manhunt or watch a movie on the beach.   It’s as though they don’t need any adults at all.

Once we were out, we didn’t feel a need to catch up because we were caught up.  We weren’t happy to get away from the kids, we actually missed them.

We listened to music…We looked out at the water.

When the kids were little if someone had said to me – when your kids are 8 and 9 they will be totally independent and you can go out with your husband alone for hours on end….I would have pictured us living it up – getting wild.


But instead we sipped our drinks calmly.

We talked about the kids.


“I wonder what they are doing tonight.” I said as I stared out at the boats.

“Look – there’s Caitlyn Jenner,” Mr. Gaga said in a hushed tone pointing discreetly at a woman sitting near us.

We were shocked at the eerie resemblance and took a quick picture.

That was as wild as we got.


I was drinking sweet summery drinks and in my old age they were upsetting my stomach…

“Let’s just go home.” I said after we had finished eating and I was getting sick of sipping on my sweet drink.

Mr. Gaga didn’t have to be told twice, he stood up quickly and we headed home.

Suddenly after years of trying to get away from these rotten children, I feel as though I have my whole life to go out to dinner.  I would rather be home with my kids.  As we drove home I envisioned hugging them and maybe reading a book or doing a puzzle before they went to bed.

When we pulled in,(at 8:30) the kids were just arriving home as well.  They were sweating from riding their bikes and guzzling water. When I tried to talk to them and hug them, they shrugged me off indifferently.

“Did you even miss us?” I shrieked.

They shrugged carelessly and went off to watch a movie together in the living room.

Mr. Gaga and I stared at each other.

Dare I say – I wished them away and now I regret it?!  It seems like yesterday I was wishing that they didn’t need me so much – that they would entertain themselves and stop bothering me?!

And here we are….it’s just the beginning of this new chapter of motherhood and it’s very bittersweet.





3 responses »

  1. Lady Goo Goo Gaga, I have never laughed so hard in my entire life! First I read your 7 Moms blog and then I went back and started reading the Best Of…my daughter thought I was having convulsions or a seizure or something I was laughing so hard. I. LOVE. YOU. Thank you for making my day!!! Ignore the haters – if you can’t have a sense of humor and laugh at yourself you might as well shrivel up and die.

  2. I was sad reading this. They are 4 and 6 and man, it felt so nice to get away and not ON all the damn time but now the 6 year old doesnt want to hug me in front of others. It hurts – daggers to the heart. So I spend extra time hugging the 4 year old because it will pass soon. 😦


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