It takes a lot to make a household run smoothly. It takes a lot of remembering.
Remembering to launder baseball and soccer uniforms so that they are readily available, remember putting money into your child’s folder for a class gift, remember to pick up a birthday gift for your child’s friend, remember to bring your child to said birthday party.
There has been a lot on my plate lately between the children’s activities and my job. Also, Mr. Gaga has been busy at work – so it’s a real juggling act to get everything and everyone where they need to be.
This week to add fuel to the fire – it was Sam’s birthday. Historically birthday party planning really sends
me, anyone who crosses my path, the household into major upheaval.
But this year I was totally smart and ready.
I booked a party with our local Double A baseball team. Sam chose 8 friends to bring to the game and all we had to do was arrive at the 3rd base gate at 6 PM and the team would let Sam throw the first pitch. I ordered food ahead of time and the organization would bring cupcakes to the kids at their seats during the 2nd inning.
I literally almost had nothing to do…
So obviously I prepared a superstar “METS fan” baseball goodie bag…
Also – I prepared cupcakes for Sam’s baseball team, The Cubs, for Saturday.
One of the children that was on his team and going to his party needed gluten free cupcakes – so I prepared those too. I carefully set aside one cupcake to bring to the birthday party so that he would have one during the game.
When Friday came – I went to work and ran around and squealed home on two wheels to be ready for the kids to arrive at 5 PM so that we could head to the park with plenty of time for Sam’s first pitch.
By 5:20 one child had not arrived.
We anxiously looked at our phones as we waited for this last straggler….
At 5:30 – we decided to leave. The kid’s dad finally put-putted into the driveway with no sense of urgency. I was totally stressed out at this point – and basically shoved the kid into the backseat of the car filled with seven year olds. I should have known it was going to get wild when “late kid” hopped in the car saying “What’s up Mother-Fudgers!”
I peeled out of my driveway and realized that Sam wasn’t in my vehicle. I rolled down the window as Mr. Gaga was locking the front door and yelled out “Shouldn’t I have Sam with me? So he gets there on time?”
“Just go!” Mr. Gaga called.
I peeled out and sped to the park. I literally drove at ungodly speeds (sorry for any parents that are reading – I am a very good fast driver) and got to a parking lot that was off the property at about five minutes before six o’clock.
“Should I park here? Will I get to the park at 6?” I asked the parking attendant.
She assured me that if I parked quickly and ran for my life I would get there. I parked the car in the lot and ran through a field and over a small bridge and found myself near the stadium.
I just assumed Mr. Gaga was right behind me so I parked and screamed at the 5 boys that were with me and made them run as fast as possible towards the building..
As we approached the building we realized we were at the opposite side that we needed to be on. I needed to meet someone named Steve at the 3rd base gate.
Did I mention it was 90 degrees?.
While normal people were leisurely entering the park – we ran by them at warp speeds, dripping with sweat – desperately trying to make it to the gate on time.
When I arrived Steve was waiting for me.
I stumbled up – dripping with sweat, kids in tow.
“Are you the Gaga party?” he asked.
“Yes.” I managed to spit out while catching my breath.
“Ok – is Sam here?”
I stared blankly at him. I looked at my phone. It was 6:00 on the dot.
“He’s with my husband – they are parking the car.” I answered vaguely.
“Ok – he needs to be here by 6:05 or he can’t do the pitch.”
I called Mr. Gaga immediately. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” I screeched.
“I’m at a light.” he answered casually.
“What the fuck does that mean? Where? What light? I told you that Sam should have been in my car?!!”
“Well – I’m at the light.” he answered.
If I could have reached through the phone and murdered him I would have.
“Ok – they are here – just parking,” I lied to Steve after hanging up on Mr. Gaga.
Two minutes passed as I frantically watched car after car drive into the stadium parking lot.
I called back.
“I’m still at this light – I am stuck behind all these cars.” he answered casually.
It was 6:02.
“Are you at the edge of the parking lot?” I asked impatiently.
“Yeah – I guess.” he answered.
“If I run to the edge of the parking lot and back do you think I will make it back in like 3 minutes?” I asked Steve.
I turned on my heel and ran like the wind.
I ran to the edge of the property and grabbed Sam and his two friends and we ran as fast as we could back towards Steve.
I was truly dripping with sweat….the kids were stumbling and I kept screaming for them to keep up. People stared at us as we ran by them as we got closer to Steve. When we crashed through the gate my makeup was running down my face and my bra was filled with pools of sweat.
“We are here!” I squeaked as we rounded the corner right into Steve’s space.
He took one look at me and said “Oh jeez…this is……um…bad.”
There was no time for apologies about my appearance – I had to get Sam to the pitcher’s mound!!
WE MADE IT!
The whole group of us tumbled on to the field. Steve was going to argue that only the birthday boy could go onto the field but then he took another look at me
and he just shrugged and let us all on.
I finally breathed a sigh of relief that we had made it and then I gulped when I saw the distance between the pitcher’s mound and the catcher. Sam was thrilled and he actually threw the ball and it reached homeplate no problem.
As we headed back to our seats I was walking behind Sam and I had a minute to reflect on how old he actually was. For a moment I watched him walk and I felt like he was a teenager – where was my little baby Sam?!
We headed to our seats and happily ate hot dogs and watched the game. It was the end of the first inning when I realized that the cupcakes would be coming shortly and that in the hurry – I had left the precious gluten-free cupcake in the car.
“You have to go to the car and get the gluten-free cupcake,” I demanded of Mr. Gaga, “I already ran like 5 miles tonight and my bra still has the Pacific Ocean in it.”
I pointed vaguely towards the trees where we had entered into the park – “The car is that way.”
After about twenty minutes I texted Mr. Gaga to see what the hold up was. The cupcakes arrived for the other children yet there was no sign of Mr. Gaga.
The gluten-free child stared at me expectantly, “Where’s Mr. Gaga with my cupcake?” he asked sweetly.
“I don’t know sweetheart…I ran from my car all the way around the whole stadium and then all the way out to the edge of the parking lot and back in 5 minutes – but it apparently takes Mr. Gaga 30 minutes to pick up one very small gluten free cupcake.”
He stared at me blankly.
Finally after 45 minutes!! Mr. Gaga returned.
“Where’s the cupcake?” I asked trying to remain calm. “I couldn’t find your car.” he said with disgust as he sank into his stadium seat.
We barely spoke the rest of the night. Why am I literally!! running around like a maniac to make sure everything is perfect and Mr. Gaga is sabotaging me at every turn?!
I chalked up to him just being a man and he chalked it up to me forgetting the cupcake in the first place.
At the end of the night we dropped of all of the happy children and went home.
I peeled off my sweaty clothes and took a shower and when I went in to kiss Sam goodnight, my heart leaped.
There was my huge, grown-up 8 year-old son.
Holding on to his childhood toy -“bear-y.”
And another great year has flown by……but he’s still my baby.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!! CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR ME AS THE FUNNIEST AND BEST!!!! MOTHER IN AMERICA!!! XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA