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The Ipod is the new Cabbage Patch

Today we spent the day at the tree farm – (which historically has proven to be quite detrimental to our marriage.)   After a day that went off without a hitch, we headed home.

Thrilled that we were all still on speaking terms, and home at an acceptable hour, I threw the kids’ wet clothes in the wash, made some hot chocolate and set them up to write their letters to Santa.

“Ugghh….do we have to?” Michael moaned.

“What do you mean??” Don’t you want to tell Santa what you want?” I demanded.

“Well – I don’t really know what I want….” he whined.

I told both kids to work on their lists, and I ran out to the store.

When I came back this is what Sam had completed:


I know what you are thinking…..”She must spoil her kids….they have everything….that’s why they don’t want anything…”


Michael and Sam do have lots of relatives who spoil them for their birthdays and Christmas.

However, Mr. Gaga and I don’t buy them ONE toy EVER unless it’s their birthday or Christmas.  So it’s not as though the opportunity to create a wish list comes around too often….

“What is wrong with you guys? You don’t want anything?”

“I want some stuff… I just forget what….” Sam answered.  “Me too.” Michael chimed in.

Who the hell FORGETS what they want for Christmas??

I remember during Saturday mornings cartoons watching each toy commercial longingly.  It would be an arduous process to narrow down my list to 3 items because there would be so many things that I desperately needed!

That Xaviar Roberts really knew what he was doing - once I found out there was  a real diaper involved...I was hooked.

That Xaviar Roberts really knew what he was doing. Once I found out there was a real diaper involved…I was hooked.  Click here for a trip down memory lane….

The following year – I was dying for a “Cabbage Patch preemie” and the year after that, a Koosa.

One year I requested a baby doll that could drink a fake orange juice and milk bottle and then wet her diaper.  I could not wait for Christmas morning to find that baby under the tree and change its diaper.  I named her Carol because she was born on Christmas (obvi).

Funny ...I was never quite so excited about my real live babies' bottles or diapers..

Funny …I was never quite so excited about my real live babies’ bottles or diapers..

I would stay up nights dreaming of running down the stairs to find these toys.

Every single year I would worry about if I was good or bad, if Santa was watching when I had done particularly bad things, and if the elves would know how to make what I was requesting.

My kids don’t worry about a goddamn thing.

On top of the fact that they don’t seem to worry about their wretched behavior – I realized that because they actually don’t ever watch a commercial – they have no clue what to ask for.

When they finally compiled their lists – they included ipad minis, ipod touches, Itunes cards and a $1200 drum set.

“Um doesn’t anyone want like a basketball or a book or something?” I asked perusing the list.

Nope.  They just want everything that Steve Jobs ever invented.

They are 6 and 8.

What happened to little boys, like my brother, that just wanted this:


Look how cute and innocent this little boy is!

Look at the joy radiating from his cute little face!

Now look at these brats….


I am truly thankful for all that I am blessed with…great family, friends, my readers and kids that want for nothing!!  Please click below to vote for me!!

XO, Lady Goo Goo Gaga




10 responses »

  1. The younger generations ARE spoiled … but my granddaughter always knew what she wanted. That’s what other kids are for … to tell you what you should be asking for. Also, so you can see what they’ve got and realize you need the same thing. Yup, spoiled. I never thought about it, but you’re right, they don’t see ads on TV — but they sure do see them all over the internet.

  2. my kids just went through almost 8 nights of gifts for hanukka and i realized we’ve raised a bunch of spoiled, unappreciative children which is not making me a very merry mommy. 😉

  3. Natalie DeYoung

    Wowsa. I remember Baby Alive. My sister got her for Christmas one year.
    Funny post – I was the same way about my gifts. I ALWAYS knew EXACTLY what I wanted. And I worried a lot about what Santa would bring me.

  4. The ipod may be the cabbage patchof its time but I remember kids and parents being nut jobs trying to get those too… so your kids are normal! Congratulations…not that you didnt know that! We engender kids with these ideal through our society and try to free them of it as parents…go figure…

  5. HA! It’s the same around here too. My FOUR year old wants an xbox. Why? To play Minecraft! Or minecrack as I call it. I’m like dude.. really? How about a stuffed animal? Or a popple? lol Remember those things? Anyway, you’re right. No commercials for these ones, so they have no idea what they want. Unless it costs over $400! lol

  6. This describes my kids exactly! As a kid, I could have filled pages with what I wanted for Christmas, but when I asked my kids this year what kind of non-electronic things they wanted, they could only think of Legos, which is a good choice. But they said “no” when I asked them if they wanted any books or board games. I admit we introduced our kids to video games and iphones, etc. too early, so now it’s ingrained in them. Is it possible to reverse this, or do we just need to accept it?

  7. We must have been born under the same moon — I remember wanting a Cabbage Patch preemie and Baby Alive too! It bears mentioning that I never received either of these items. However, it was probably for the best. I mean, did all 80’s toys come out of the box looking demonically possessed?

  8. Love this. My kids have been circling things in catalogues since September. My sister suggested we give them broccoli instead. I dunno…

  9. My husband has been living vicariously through our son, making sure that he has all the things that Larry never got as a kid. This year we are cleaning out the other stuff and the boy is just getting books. Which is what I loved to get when I was a kid. Somewhere in the middle we will balance!

  10. Pingback: Oh, Fudge | Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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