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Bad juju gaga

It has been hectic around here….plus it was a full moon this week.

Last weekend we went to the city for Michael’s birthday. We came back Monday and had an insane week.

I had a lot of stuff going on that was work related and it was weighing heavily on me.

I had to make a few tough and risky decisions and it was stressing me out.  Additionally, I took on a couple of jobs that were last-minute, so I was tired and run-ragged.

Remember when I said I did something that was like selling bras for a living??  What happens is that I have to deal with PEOPLE regularly.

If you have read this blog at all – you probably know that interacting with people regularly might be bad for my mental health.  If there’s a full moon….then my patience is really tried.  Women go berserk.

During the full moon, I spend a lot of time biting my tongue and attempting to respond appropriately to their mentally deranged rants.

Midweek, I worked in a setting where their was a woman who was shadowing a manager all day.

I didn’t interact with her much as we were both busy throughout the day.  A couple of times we crossed paths and she asked me about my day, I would just shrug and say “It’s fine…people are nuts…but whatever…” and go about my business.”

At the end of the day, we were standing near each other working and she stopped and said, “I feel like you are having a really bad day.”

I stopped to think about it…”No, not really.” I answered.

“Well, I have to tell you …. I am a psychic medium, and I can feel an extreme amount of negative energy coming from you.”

I just stared at her thinking of an appropriate response.

“Um…okay……so you can feel what I’m feeling?” I asked with trepidation.

“Yes, I’m an empath.” she answered matter-of-factly.

YOU are a negative judgy bitch......

YOU are a negative judgy bitch……

“Um…well…okay…I’m probably a little negative but I am not having a bad day….You are probably just feeling like “my stuff” I answered sheepishly.

But in my head I was thinking …

Who the fuck says such a thing to someone they just met? I’m sorry -but I don’t recall signing up for the Psychic Friends Network and by the way your hair is very frizzy and you should be using some Moroccan oil for that shit…and you are rude and I hate you.”

She stared at me and smiled and said…

“I can hear your thoughts.”

My jaw dropped and I basically just ran away from her.

I told a coworker about what just happened and I was on the verge of hyperventilation and she came over to us and interrupted our conversation.

My coworker asked “Can you see dead people?”

“Oh yes,” she said calmly, “They are all around us talking to me right now – and I have to tune them out.”

I turned to her and said nicely:

“I’m very stressed out by what you said….it’s like freaking me out…”

She said “No, don’t freak out….just work on ….”  She paused here and said…

“Excuse me, I have to just take a few steps back away from you, because I can feel all of your negative energy and it’s really making me feel like I am actually going to throw up….”


Can you believe this??

Just because you see dead people doesn’t mean you can going around being RUDE!! to people!!  Unless you are the LONG ISLAND MEDIUM you need to just keep your mouth shut!!  Nobody asked for your psychic reading!!

I left shortly after that and when I got home I got busy with kids’ stuff and by 9 o’clock Mr. Gaga and I asked each other about our day.

“My day was ok – except for the part when a psychic witch told me that my bad energy was making her feel like she was going to barf….”

“Oh that’s too bad, ” Mr. Gaga answered while helping clean the kitchen.

“Wait…what? Did you hear me? That REALLY happened!”

“Oh, I’m sure it did.” he answered not fazed.

Do you know why he’s not fazed? Because this type of shit only happens to me!!!

I had too much other stuff to worry about, to let this maniac ruin my life but that whole interaction, coupled with my work stress rattled me a bit.

I really couldn’t shake it.

I tried to catch myself when I was having a negative thought and imagine a rainbow or a really expensive shoe…..but it didn’t seem natural.

I guess Sam is psychic as well and even though I was working very hard to shoot magical positive light beams out from my body, he could feel all my stress and tension.

He took it upon himself to make me a book to cheer me up.

I remember growing up – there were standard pictures I would draw for my parents that I thought would make them happy.

For my mother I would draw flowers, hearts and birds.

For my dad I would draw sailboats and the beach.

Here was page one of Sam’s book:


“Um – that’s nice Sam.” I said – (trying not to be negative.)

“Oh yeah – that page is for Daddy – it’s a ninja turtle, a NY Giants sign and a little bottle of beer.” he said as he turned to page 2:

“Here’s your page.”

At first I was being negative and I thought that was a picture of "tan mom" from New Jersey - but then he clarified that it was in fact Madonna.

At first I was being negative and I thought that was a picture of “tan mom” from New Jersey – but then he clarified that it was in fact Madonna.

And then another page for Mr. Gaga:

A huge beer? I thought this was my book???

A huge beer? I thought this was my book???

And then a gigantic glass of wine…..


The next page said “The End.” and I think he perfectly summed things up.

While this story may be troubling to some, and some might find it upsetting that a child thinks that the key to cheering up his mother is through alcohol and 80’s pop stars…..

For me it was just what I needed to feel a little less negative.


(Don’t worry – it will just be temporary – I will be back to calling small children douchebags by next week.)








14 responses »

  1. No one can prepare woman nor man for raising children. Having humor by your side is vital. Better gulp laughter than the bottle. Here is an e-book on KIndle that will make you laugh out loud: THE BELLIGERENT NUDIST. Check it out!

  2. hahahaha

    one of your best

  3. Hahahaha! The next time you work with the Psychic, visualize strangling her with a push-up bra, then wink at her, and hand her an airline barf bag.

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  10. Oh, man, people be crazy! I used to work in customer service, people were always extra crazy around full moons. They say there’s no scientific proof of this but… we know it to be true!

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  12. It would fire that the psychic was drawn by your negative energy!! Hahaha! Love it!!!

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