Over the summer the kids starting collecting bracelets from camp. One kind in particular they got at a friend’s house and they fought over them and took special care to not lose.
This kind was made out of small rubber bands and the kids started asking me to buy them some sort of bracelet making device (a Rainbow loom) so that they could make these special bracelets.
I ignored them of course.
School started and the kids would come home telling me about all of the kids that had “Rainbow Loom” bracelets at school.
Then at work I noticed a couple of people (adults) wearing the bracelets.
At a store a couple of weeks ago, Michael saw the bracelet maker on the shelf and begged me to buy it.
“It’s $20 Michael! Really? Are you guys going to sit around making bracelets? Plus we don’t even know how to do it…”
I asked my friend if she had one. “Oh yes, I was up all night making bracelets for all of their friends,” she answered.
“Because the kids who don’t have the Rainbow loom ask my kids to make one for them, and it takes too long so I end up making it….” she answered.
That got me thinking.
“Boys – if you want a bracelet ask your friends to make you one.” I suggested the next day.
They came home with a couple more after that, but still weren’t satisfied.
Michael actually started crying one night this week because he had less bracelets than Sam and “Why can’t we just have a rainbow loom?”
“Because we don’t know how to do it!!” I said with despair. “If we know how to use it – maybe we can get one.”
I mentioned the whole phenomenon to my friend Martha. “ Oh – you can actually take a Rainbow loom class at the toy store in the center of town!” she said knowingly.
Um…no. We are definitely not doing that.
I tried to envision Mr. Gaga coming home from work and asking us what we did that day and me replying,
“We took a bracelet class.”
We had plans to visit a friend and her 3-year-old and 6 year-old Friday night and I called her to confirm.
“I have to call you back – I am in Toys R’ Us spending like $100 on Rainbow loom stuff….”
When she called me back I mentioned how I found the whole thing ridiculous….
“Oh we can show you how to do it tonight when you come over…” she answered.
That night when we all sat down around the Rainbow loom ready to learn – I peered down at her tackle box filled with rubber bands and the loom, thinking it didn’t really look like $100 worth of stuff.
We waited for her son to start making a bracelet.
“Oh no – he can’t do it….it’s too hard for him. I make them and the kids watch.” she said matter-of-factly getting started on a bracelet for Sam.
I stared in shock while she diligently made everyone a bracelet. “Don’t worry I was up until 2 in the morning watching YouTube videos so I could figure out how to do this…” she said.
“What?? How else would I learn?” she asked with exasperation.
Do you know what I do at 2 in the morning?
I mean is everyone completely off their rockers??
When did children’s arts and crafts activities become our problem?
I spent many a day doing arts and crafts when I was young and I never once thought to ask my mother to do it for me.
As I have asked many times before…does nobody have anything to do anymore??
Why does every mother in America spend their every waking second thinking up ways to entertain their children?
It’s not enough that we have to waste our life away cutting up our kids’ lunches into tic- tac- toe boards, and making Star Wars cookies now we have to actually do their arts and crafts projects for them?
Isn’t the whole point of the bracelet making to enjoy the actual making of the bracelet?? And then reaping the reward of the completed project?
Now arts and crafts projects are projects done by mothers while their lazy children watch?
WHY must we DO EVERYTHING for these children??
Isn’t the point of the “arts and crafts” to enjoy the art and the craft and then at the end of the “arting” and the “crafting” you can enjoy your potholder or your bracelet?
Do you think that the “Tiger moms” in China are sitting around looming fucking rubber bracelets for their kids??
They are not!
They are beating them with their violin sticks and telling them to study the periodic table of elements!!
In other countries, little boys are like building a hut for their family or plowing a field, while our boys can’t even make one pathetic little bracelet.
As it stands, after all was said and done, we watched my friend make the bracelets and then we went home.
We still don’t know how to make them.
We still don’t have the loom of doom…..
I’m hoping the next fad to sweep the nation is potholder making…..I am totally going to be in on that one……
RIGHT NOW I AM THE #2 FUNNIEST MOM IN AMERICA!!! PLEASE CLICK THE BANNER SO I CAN BE #1!!!!!!
XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA
XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA