You have really done it this time.
I am writing today to warn you, because for some reason I actually think you don’t even realize how you have totally screwed yourself.
Maybe there was a little lull in your celebrity status – since we all lost interest in your fake wedding, but there’s really no need to take such drastic measures!!!
So now we are all talking about you again but is it worth accepting the sperm of Satan?? I think not.
Have you thought this through at all Kim??
First things first – you are ONLY famous for your looks and your sexual escapades.
What’s going to happen when you aren’t looking so hot? First of all, the tabloids that you love to be in so much, will rip you to shreds.
Secondly, Kanye seems a bit shallow. When your looks go down the toilet, will he stick around?
He seems to be obsessed with skinny women.
Do you remember when Kanye rapped, “Let’s get lost tonight, You could be my black Kate Moss tonight”….
Um…Kim…….you’re totally effed. Kate Moss is SUPER skinny!!!!
Your ass is huge!!!
You know how it’s huge in a cute way that’s loveable and sexy right now??
After the baby comes it’s not so sexy….it’s more like cellulitey and mom-ish….not Kate Moss-ish at all……
Now believe me I know what it’s like to have a fat ass…..but thankfully, Mr. Gaga never asks me to be his “Black Kate Moss….”
Thank God – because this is the latest image of Kate Moss’ ass:
Yeah – good luck with that….
Especially since this your pre-pregnancy ass:
After the pregnancy – figure this ass will be 10 times this size and flabby and flat.
I know you are thinking you will just spend a lot of time at the gym and get back in shape….but that’s not going to happen.
Who will watch the baby?? You don’t think Kanye will babysit do you?
Plus – do you really want him alone with your child? He could say and do some inappropriate things.
He has already stated publicly that he is “not a fan of books.”
That’s really great….He’s going to be an awesome Dad.
I know you know about sex and how this all works.
We actually know who you are because you banged someone when you were 15 and your mother had the wherewithal to videotape it and send it to the tabloids.
Therefore, I am assuming you have been practicing birth control successfully for quite sometime – which can only mean, despite how horrific it is to imagine….you have done this on purpose??
Exactly what do you hope to achieve with this little publicity stunt? Are you thinking that this baby is going to be filled with talent and good looks?
Have you considered if it doesn’t work out exactly as you plan?
You might have had a glimpse of reality when Kanye announced the news on stage. He was quoted as saying “Stop the music…can we make some noise for my baby mama?”
I bet you thought that was pretty romantic….I mean how many women in the throes of their first trimester are lucky enough to have the sperm donor call you “his baby mama” for the world to hear.
Have you considered that he tends to make all of his statements from a stage with a microphone? Do you remember poor innocent Taylor Swift and how he destroyed her award night for no apparent reason?
He’s a bit of a narcissist and seems to enjoy stealing people’s thunder.
You might not think it’s so cute when you are delivering the baby and he’s in the corner rapping about how great he is…..
Also, I know it’s difficult for you two ass-hats to think of others, but have you given any consideration to your poor sister Khloe?
This poor girl. It’s not enough that she’s an enormous beast with 4 slim beautiful sisters, but now after she has been on every magazine cover and has an entire reality show dedicated to her desire for a baby, you have to go and get knocked up with an illegitimate child while you are married to someone else.
Motherhood is extremely difficult and one cannot be a narcissistic fame-whore while raising a child.
Kim, I hope that you can find your way as a mother despite your poor choice in “baby daddy.”
It will be a long and difficult road for you and your little one.
Even with the best conditions, being a mother is a challenge.
If you don’t believe me, just ask Beyonce.
Don’t get me wrong – we are all thrilled to celebrate something actually coming out of your vagina for once.
I just hope you are mentally prepared for what’s to come.
Sincerely your friend,
LADY GOO GOO GAGA
EVEN THOUGH KIM CERTAINLY DOESN’T NEED ANY MORE PUBLICITY…I WOULD LOVE SOME! PLEASE SHARE ON FACEBOOK THIS WEEK!!! XOXOXO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA