So remember last year when Storm Alfred came to Connecticut and destroyed everyone’s life?
We lost power for ten days and I learned some tough lessons.
So this time I am going to be better prepared.
First things first, last year I washed my hair the night before we lost power and woke up with no ability to fix the situation, minus a hairdryer and flatiron.
Needless to say, walking around like this for 10 days didn’t help my already depressed spirits.
Last night, I came home from a party and took the time to color my hair and wash and condition it.
This morning I blew it dry and flat-ironed the shit out of it. I am not going to be caught in a homeless shelter with frizzy hair again…..fool me once.
Also, I have charged every single Nintendo DS, Ipad, phone, and Leapster I could find. I will not get stuck playing UNO Attacks and Star Wars Operation for 10 straight days. At least the electronic devices will buy me some time.
Meanwhile, while I was tending to all of this important business, Mr. Gaga kept leaving me notes and texts to “Go get water and batteries for the flashlights” and “Go get gas.”
He is a complete lunatic about the weather so I usually try to tune him out as much as possible to maintain sane and rational about inclement weather.
I kept deleting his messages, thinking he was completely dramatic. It was only Friday and the storm wouldn’t be here until Monday.
In general – whether it’s a small spring shower or a tsunami, it’s basically like living with Helen Hunt from “Twister.” He watches the doppler radar like it’s his job and tells me which direction winds are blowing and talks in inches and temperatures while I stare at him blankly.
After I went to lunch with a girlfriend I had an hour before picking up the kids off the bus, so I figured I would run and grab water and batteries so that Mr. Gaga would be happy.
As I pulled into Target I started to get a clue that people had already completely lost their marbles.
My second clue that I was in trouble was that the area that usually housed the carts was now filled with tumbleweeds. I ran to the water aisle.
Just as I suspected…..more tumbleweeds.
As I turned around and headed for the batteries, I noticed one little sad, crushed gallon of water on the floor. I grabbed it and ran through the aisle like a maniac to the batteries. The board that held batteries was empty of course.
I grabbed a flashlight that came with batteries, because at least that way I would come home with water and batteries for the flashlight as Mr. Gaga had requested.
Hair did, water bought, flashlight ready. I went home and ate all the ice cream. (If you want to talk adding insult to injury is being stranded without power and having to throw out all of your ice cream.)
I was thinking I was in good shape.
Mr. Gaga wasn’t impressed.
Well, I don’t know what distilled water is, but I am sure a family of four can survive on it if they have to.
“Besides,” I said rummaging through the junk drawer, “I am sure after last year’s fiasco we must have went out and bought a bunch of flashlights.”
Ooops, I guess I dropped the ball in the flashlight department.
But it’s fine, we have candles, and we can light a fire.
Last year, we stayed warm by having a fire in the fireplace constantly burning. I remember thinking that I would have to be sure to order a lot of firewood to always have a good supply readily available.
I went into the backyard to investigate the firewood situation.
Saturday morning I woke up and started getting organized and was able to find someone to deliver wood, which was a miracle so things were looking up.
Mr. Gaga took the kids trick or treating in town, and I went to work. Last time we were stuck without power, Halloween was cancelled, and I drowned my sorrows by eating all of the leftover Halloween candy that I never got to eat. This year I was smart and didn’t buy any Halloween candy yet. I was planning on going at the last-minute.
When Mr. Gaga came home with the kids, it was clear that despite my excellent planning, I was in trouble…….
That evening the wood delivery arrived. I was so proud that I had thought to order the wood and we could live in a warm house even if we have no power.
As the lumber man pulled away, he called out, “Put it somewhere safe! The wind will pick it up and it will be flying all over the place!”
We stared at each other and then stared at the wood.
So basically, in closing, we have learned nothing.
If we are not impaled by flying logs of firewood, we will survive this storm on lollipops and distilled water.
But at least my hair looks good.
PLEASE CLICK THE BANNER BELOW BEFORE POWER GOES!! STAY SAFE! XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA