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Ode to Mr. Gaga

I am doing an extra post this week – in honor of Mr. Gaga in response to Mama Kat’s writing prompt. 

The writing prompt is as follows: Share something you’ve learned from your husband about parenting. What makes him good at what he does?

Needless to say after last week’s baseball debacle, I crucified Mr. Gaga.

“How could you put up with that shit?” I implored him as he looked through his mail and ignored me.

“You should bench them if they take shits…..That should be a rule. If you shit your pants….you’re benched.”

He shrugged.

“Heeelllooo???? Are you listening??? You are coaching these kids into little monsters!! Do you think Derek Jeter’s dad would put up with this?”

“They are just little kids and their own parents don’t care – so what can I do?”  he said tossing the mail onto the counter.

“Well – I would never put up with it.”

“Well – I have a lot more patience than you do,” he said on his way out the door to unnecessarily mow the lawn.

*I assume that it was unnecessary because “mowing the lawn” is Mr. Gaga’s go-to move to escape from me for at least an hour and create a situation where he “can’t hear me.”

Anyways – he’s right.  He’s more patient than me – by like ….a hundred gazillion percent.

While I can be found frantically chasing the kids around counting to three and threatening to beat them, he will get much better results by just calmly telling them what to do.

Of course this laid-back attitude can have some downsides, as in giving the kids donuts twice a day for snack when I am at work, starting 5 different LEGO projects and leaving the pieces all over the house, choosing to grab a Quizno’s sandwich for someone who clearly ordered an Italian combo, and so on.

But for the most part – he is a great Dad and husband, and not only has patience for the kids – but is incredibly patient with me.  Nothing I say or do really fazes him (although I think this is often as a result of blatantly ignoring me.)

I can be pretty bitchy – and he deflects like no other.  The other day I was in a little bit of a snippy mood while we were about to get ready for bed.

In case you need a visual – this is pretty much us. A week doesn’t go by when people don’t tell us that we are “Carrie and Doug.”  Although, I am not that skinny and Mr. Gaga is not that fat.

Mr. Gaga took off his shirt and was inspecting himself in the bathroom mirror.  Normally not very hairy – I have noticed in his old age – he has grown some more hair. It’s not much – but let’s just say this is what Mr. Gaga looked like when I met him:

And this is what he looks like now:

I plopped onto bed and picked up my US Weekly and started flipping through, and said casually, “You know – you will probably have to start doing some  “man-scaping” – because I didn’t sign up to be with a hairy man….”

Without missing a beat – he looked at me and said,

“Yeah – well…neither did I and how did that work out?”

What could I do but laugh hysterically?

The trick is – he doesn’t take life too seriously and  I definitely do.

His patience coupled with his ability to be calm and content – inevitably allows him to enjoy life.

Oh – how I wish I could do that. 

How great life would be with no worries.

Being content and stress-free is a quality that I continually strive for to no avail.

Last year – as I was running around the house trying to get ready for work one Saturday, I missed the bottom couple of steps and fell and snapped my ankle. 

I screamed and Mr. Gaga came running down the stairs to rescue me.

I just lay at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Mr. Gaga. I knew he would save me. (And this is what I wear to work…obvi.)

When he picked me up from the heap I was in and realized that I was fine,

he just looked at me and said, “Lady, you have to SLOW down.”

He’s right. 

I am trying.

Happy Father’s Day to Mr. Gaga and to my dad and to any adoring Dad fans that might be reading this….

Also – please click below to vote for this blog before you have to spend the rest of your weekend kissing your husband’s butt…..

XO,  Lady Goo Goo Gaga


29 responses »

  1. Jennifer Worrell

    Mr. Gaga is obviously AMAZING! Love your writing!

  2. So glad I found your blog through Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop. You’re hilarious, girl. 🙂

  3. We have so much to learn from people who can just take life in stride. I love that you took his words to heart instead of just leaving them for that day. Though I do recommend you take it a little easier down the stairs. Reminds me of this:

  4. My wife swears to me that I am Doug. She says this at least once a week. I, however, AM that fat. Came over from yeahwrite. Good read!

  5. Your husband seems like he can keep up with you intellectually lol. I love his quick witted remark. Awesome. My husband has the ability to diffuse me too and is generally more patient than me! Great post!

  6. LOVE what he remarked about not signing up to be with a hairy man. Hysterical!

  7. My husband is more patient than I am too. By a very long shot. And we don’t have a lawn, but he wishes we did! I love the humor here and can relate to every word.

  8. SO FUNNY! “If you shit your pants, your benched” = instant classic.

  9. LOL! @ the manscaping exchange. A sense of humor is an incredibly important!

    My husband is more patient than me too. It wasn’t until we had kids that I realized how much of a blessing that quality was.

  10. haha. reminds me of my husband so much. he doesn’t even blink at half the stuff i do… hm…making me feel like maybe i need to be trying HARDER : ) great thoughts about a seemingly great guy!!

  11. Hahah he sounds very good for you! And clever, with the lawn mowing…

  12. Awww, I love getting glimpses of happy, beautiful marriages.

  13. IT sounds like you guys laugh together a lot. That’s awesome!

  14. I love the mowing the lawn technique. Hee Hee

    It would be nice to loosen up a bit. I’m pretty high strung compared to my husband, and I wish I wasn’t, but sometimes our difference in patience levels is understandable. He seems more patient with the kids, but I’m the one who has been with them all day long, and of course he has more patience then I do! I always get all hot and mad when he points out that I have no patience. Thank you, I hadn’t noticed…

  15. My hubby is definitely the calm one in our marriage as well. I like the balance! 😉

  16. Mmm Kevin James in that outfit. I’ll take it!! 😛 Seriously I would!!

  17. My poor husband…there’s no escape for him; we have a mow and blow gardner.

    So glad he was there to rescue you! Sweet. 🙂

  18. You sound like you work perfectly together! My hubby and I tag team when we’re about to lose it. Which is every fifteen minutes or so, I swear.

  19. ok, i am cracking up at the manscaping part and Emma’s comment above!

  20. Such a nice post about your Mr. and also so fun!!

  21. I refuse to mow the lawn, but Mr. Gaga may be on to something.

  22. Very funny and such a great message about slowing down. I think I’ll just sit here now and watch the hair on my legs grow…or the grass grow….or something.

  23. He sounds like quite a Dude. Manscaped or not.

  24. it’s all about the balance, right? And recognizing that even though *he* is not *us* he still ahs some good points!

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