Dear One “Million” Moms,
I hear that you have waged a war on retailer JC Penney due to the fact that they hired Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson.
Your group claims on your website that “By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, JC Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years.”
What I find most troubling about all of this is that the name of your group implies that you actually represent the mothers of this country – which of course is not true.
Only in some little backwards town in Mississippi do mothers sit around worrying about advertisements for the JC Penney. Only the most uneducated, sheltered person would consider being fair and open-minded towards a gay celebrity – a “GAY BANDWAGON!!!”
Most American mothers are very busy caring for our children and/or working. Sorry we don’t have all the free time you have, to spend perusing every little detail of every commercial, television show or movie.
I saw that your last campaign involved calling the Disney Channel regularly to request that when it aired “Little Manhattan” it edited out the word “hell.”
Ok – first of all – “What the fuck is “Little Manhattan?”
Second of all – don’t you think there’s some better activity a “million” women could be doing – besides sitting around waiting for random characters in some creepy Disney movie to say “hell?”
By the way – you might notice that I keep putting the word “million” in quotes because as Ellen DeGeneres pointed out you only have 40,000 members on Facebook. As you may or may not know, since clearly your level of intelligence is definitely a huge question at this point, but 40,000 does not equal one million.
You give American Moms a bad name!!!!
No wonder the French moms hate us and write books about what horrible parents we are!!
It is because of people like you!!
I have a sneaking suspicion (mostly because you have such a love affair with JC Penney) that you aren’t the most fashionable bunch.
Do you think that possibly you could just be bitter and angry that you have been wearing mom jeans for the past 20 years, and on top of it – your “mom jeans” are from the JC Penney?
Don’t be too upset that you are now forced to boycott JC Penney. It’s not really the end of the world. You can always just do all of your shopping at Walmart from now on – they haven’t moved to the “dark side” like JC Penney.
Ooops – nevermind… just remembered that little harlot, Miley Cyrus, has a line of clothes at Walmart. She wears short skirts and smokes weed – so scratch that plan….just go to Sears.
Ooohhhh – those slutty, get married 50 times for 2 minutes, Kardashians do ads for Sears……hhmmmmm….
Maybe you better get the old needle and thread out…..
I’m sure you can whip up something yourself that would be just as fancy as what JC Penney could offer. I mean how hard is it to sew together some acid-washed mom-jeans anyways?
By the way – while you asshats are sewing your own mom-jeans and calling JC Penney all day – the rest of the mothers in America are struggling with actual real modern-day issues like balancing work and family, keeping our home clean, and choosing the right activities or sports for our children.
I like to believe that most of today’s mothers in America are smart, educated and forward-thinking.
I hope that we are just and open-minded and that we teach our children to be fair and treat other people with respect and consideration.
Also as a side-note, in between raising my children to be good, smart individuals – when I have a spare minute to myself I am always trying to be a “milf.”
When I have attempted to be hip and stylish I have shopped at Nordstrom or Forever 21 or have concentrated my efforts at the makeup counters.
Not once have I entered a JC Penney in all of my
33 22 years because I always envisioned this:
But lo and behold – I just discovered that JC Penney is actually turning over a new leaf!! Along with hiring Ellen – apparently they are getting a little hipper trying to attract “MILFS” like me!!!
In closing – you will not win this battle, my Mississippi friends.
Do you actually think you homeschooling, bible belt morons in your long braids to the floor and your mom jeans – can fight Ellen DeGeneres and JC Penney and win??
Thing again assholes.
Your little stunt has done nothing but provide outstanding free publicity for JC Penney and inspired celebrities and moms across the country to shop there.
Good work …. Jesus would be proud!
Lady Goo Goo Gaga
I actually learned through my friend Hot Mess Mom and her Million Milf March (see now these are the kind of causes I support – moms wanting to be milfs!!!) – that there is now a group called One Million People who support Ellen – which is quickly gaining support and will soon outshine this little cult.
If you agree with my stance – please share this post on Facebook!!!! Thanks so much…XO, Lady Goo Goo Gaga