In February of 2011 I began this little anonymous blog, as a way to vent and tell stories of my experience as a mother.
I have so loved having you all read, comment, laugh and commiserate. I look forward to much more blogging in 2012 and thank you all for your support!!
2011 was a good year for me. I finally started to feel like I could think about doing something for myself – something besides wiping a butt or emptying a dishwasher. (Like start a blog!!)
If I had to pick one word for 2011 it would be “blog,” because in the beginning of the year I didn’t even really know what a blog was, and now I have my mom blog and I also have a beauty blog, and blogging has become a huge part of my life!
If I had to pick one word for 2012 it will be “Tweet.” From what I understand this is something I am supposed to be doing already, but as usual I am behind the eight-ball with technology – so I am going to figure it out and become a tweet-aholic.
Today I want to just review the year for those of you who might have missed some important stories….with the
TOP TEN THINGS I LEARNED THIS YEAR…..(and one for good luck)
#1 – In February I started this blog and learned about other cultures at a Chinese child’s birthday party. This is where I was told to take off my shoes and wear the mother’s filthy slippers throughout the party.
#2 – In March, I came to the realization that my neighbor “Fran Drescher” is an utterly repulsive idiot. I am so thankful that she moved across the country so I no longer have to be subjected to her filth or her children’s theater productions.
#3 – In April, I was an idiot and drove 19 hours in the car to Georgia, I learned that this is not necessarily a good idea. As if it’s not bad enough being stuck in a vehicle for long periods of time, I definitely learned that when one gets out of the car for short breaks, the Cracker Barrel is not the place to go.
#4 – In May, in honor of Mother’s Day I reviewed the ways “This is not my mother’s motherhood.” Most of this list revolves around the fact that modern-day motherhood is wretched and torturous and my mother enjoyed leisure time watching the Days of Our Lives program and smoking cigarettes.
#5 – In June, school ended so I no longer had to look at or listen to Steven Keaton at the bus stop, and I figured out a way for my son to get the final revenge of the school year. This school – year I learned that I must wear sunglasses rain or shine to avoid eye contact with any and all humans at said bus stop.
#6 – In July, I learned that Bingo is very annoying, I will never win and it is not good for my mental health. If I continue to attend the yearly beach bingo I could possibly flip tables like Theresa Guidice.
#7 – In August, I learned that too much sun coupled with late nights spent watching Spongebob while his mother drinks wine, can actually turn a 5-year-old into the devil. I got a lot of comments on this one – I think you all could relate to this story – especially when everyone on the beach clapped when we left….
#8 – In September, I was provoked by a moron in my “Moms Club” who decided to tell her 2-year-old there’s no such thing as Santa. I learned that there is a level of horrible parenting that I was not aware of – Oooohh how I hate that woman and her husband. In 2012 – stay tuned for more idiotic requests and questions from people who apparently can’t solve simple matters without sending out a mass email to 800 mothers.
#9 – In October, I escaped from
Hell on Earth Connecticut and I learned it is not necessarily all it’s cracked up to be. Although we had a great trip – it did take us until about Halloween to recover from the trip – and that was about the time that we had a storm that destroyed Connecticut life as we knew it.
#10 – In November, my hair turned into a Brillo pad and I learned how to survive without power for 10 days!!!!! It took us until last week to recover from this fucking piece of shit storm and the piece of shit utilities company that we have here in lovely Connecticut.
#11 – In December, I learned that some people in this household do not value Christmas traditions and schedules as much as I do…..and Mr. Gaga asked that I also say I learned that he is funnier than me……(which of course is not true.)
Happy New Year!! Please start off the new year in a positive direction and vote for me was one of the Top Mommy Blogs!! XOXOXO LADY GOO GOO GAGA