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Sink or Swim

I work part-time in a consultant-type of position.  My schedule is unpredictable and erratic.  I could work 7 days in a row and then I could not work for 3 weeks.

What this means is that I am constantly scrambling for childcare.  I have to call my list of babysitters and beg them to come for 2 hours here, 2 hours there.   I am asking for favors all the time, mostly of other mothers, but often of my cousins and my brother and sister-in-law.

“Would you mind taking Sam after school and my husband will pick him up?”

“Could you get Michael off the bus? Or could Michael get off at your stop and hang out for a little while?”

And my poor husband…forget it.  When I can’t find coverage  – I beg him to help me…even if it means taking them to work and having them watch a movie in his office while he attempts to get work done.

I’ll do anything to get to work.  I usually am able to figure it out somehow – some way – and I screech into the parking lot of where I am working, on 2 wheels and hustle in (late and looking like shit.)

The past couple of weeks have been very hectic and I have worked a lot of hours.

I have asked for a lot of favors.

My kids have had several playdates that I forced mothers to invite them to.

My husband hates me.

I am now wearing “period underwear” when I have no period – due to lack of clean laundry.

Yeah  –  guess what else happens when I work a lot.

The laundry is to the ceiling.

The refridgerator is empty.

There are dustballs everywhere and my bathrooms are disgusting.

I just feel like I am in a constant state of treading water.

This is me and what’s pulling me down is my laundry, my filthy toilets, and my moustache…..

Constantly on the go – Mr. Gaga and I are like two ships passing in the night.  We sometimes give each other high-fives as one of us comes in and the other is going out the front door.

Last week,  he had a meeting that he was going to be late to – and I was running late coming home from work.  He got in his car – and as my car turned the corner onto our street – he pulled out of our driveway and started to go.  We waved and beeped at each other.  (* OK – our kids were only alone for like……a minute)

So – the next morning I was miraculously ready for work on time, my babysitter was on time, I was in good shape.

I got into my car and it wouldn’t start.  I had left a light on.

The swearing and anxiety that resulted from this were not good, but probably nothing compared to my husband who had to leave work and bring me jumper cables and jump my car.

And then there was the swearing and anxiety that came from my boss when I told him I would be an hour late to my event in NYC.  And I heard when he told his boss the news…….


It is all very stressful and I often feel like my throat is closing as anxiety is filling my being.

Sometimes I come home to things in some sort of order, but more often than not, I walk in the door and in no particular order I think….

“Homework needs to be done, field trip money is due tomorrow, the PTO wants me to sell wrapping paper by tomorrow, I need to write them a check – shit – I forgot to order more checks, I need to wash the sheets – it’s been two weeks, the faucet is still dripping – clearly Mr. Gaga is not good with fixing things – I need to call a plumber, I have to make cookies for Sam’s Halloween party, and the zipper on Michael’s backpack broke and I should just order a good one from LL BEAN, the library books are overdue and one is still missing – maybe I have to just pay the fee, Sam needs new rainboots, maybe I should get good ones for $35 at Nordstrom or should I just keeping buying cheap ones that rip for $20 at Target, I need to make a dessert for my grandmother’s 80th birthday party, I need to pick out photos that I like from the kids’ photoshoot, there’s no food in this refridgerator, I really need to go grocery shopping, maybe I could just order a pizza,…but I am sooo fat….I need to get to the gym, I am never going to get there this week, maybe I could just find time to run, I should really start running – since I want to run that Thanksgiving race,  I really need to register for that, and by the way who is coming here for Thanksgiving, I need to text my cousins tonight and ask them if they are coming, I wonder if I will have time to dye my hair tonight, but if I do – I need to get up an hour early tomorrow to blowdry my hair, I am too tired for that – maybe I can just wax my moustache tonight, I should really get my eyebrows waxed too – maybe if I can make a hair appointment then David can wax my eyebrows, but really if I have time for an appointment – I should get the boys’ haircuts,  they need it worse than me…etc. etc. etc. etc …..until I pass out from complete mental exhaustion with basically nothing done.

I usually decide to reward myself with a little down-time in the form of Real Housewives of any county (I LOVE THIS FRANCHISE) or Rachel Zoe – and then I pass out with gray roots in my hair and a full moustache and a muffin top.

This weekend I was on top of things.

I was going to work two full days and still make it to Michael’s soccer game and take Sam to a Halloween party bearing seasonal baked goods.

I was kind of past treading – I was maybe doing like a doggy paddle….almost about to break into a crawl….

And then…….

Storm Alfred.

We are estimated to have no power to for 5 to 7 days….Halloween is cancelled…work is cancelled…..

Why do I live in Connecticut again??



14 responses »

  1. wow…. you soo need an assistant. yeah, i know, mom’s don’t get assistants. I’m exhausted just reading your list….Now I’m thinking about my own list. Thanks for that! 🙂

  2. Almost like the pains of childbirth…I remember those lists and the great levels of stress that heaped on like Cardinal players piling on Freese. It got so bad for me that for two weeks I had “Get A Divorce” on my To Do List. It was wedged in between “Get the Dog Neutered” and “Buy more #3 vacuum bags.” I am so sorry life is so stressful. It will get better…I promise!

  3. That totally sounds like a regular week around here! And I’m not even working anymore.
    It really is hard to keep up. I should have kept a live-in nanny – just sayin’

  4. you are HILARIOUS! I’m loving your blog! I’m Christi – the other guest host over at Haute Mom and your newest follower!

  5. Hang in there! Did you happen to see this <a href="; Neglected Children, Messy Houses, and Guilt? I don’t know why they needed a study–it’s one of those from the Dept of the Obvious I guess, that no mother, SAHM, WAHM, or working mother is ever happy, ever has enough time, and pretty much feels guilty about everything. I feel like it all boils down to the image (from where, I don’t know) of the kind of mother I should be, or want to be vs. the reality of who I am. If I spend time on myself and not excavating the kitchen table from the dried layer of yogurt on it from breakfast, I feel guilty. I prided myself on getting two loads of laundry done one day only to discover that I didn’t check my husband’s pockets where he had put washable crayons. Washable crayons going through the wash is a total mess, in case you were wondering, since the water-solubility means your crayons are dissolving all over as your machine is running its cycle!

    You’re doing the best you can. I hope you have power back.

    And on a somewhat serious note, like @Cam said, you need an assistant. But, what about an intern? My friend Lynn ( has two! Just a thought.

    • Thanks for your support – I can’t wait to read that article – even though it is very obvious as you said – I like reading that stuff because then i feel validated. Too bad about the crayons – that’s devastating – I had it happen once with just one black crayon and that was enough – forget a whole pack!!!
      Assistants? That would be soooo luxourious!!!

  6. Pingback: Guest host at Haute Mom! « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

  7. I am tired just reading this. I am so sorry things have been so crazy. I am not that crazy and still feel I have no time to do anything. Hang in there!!

    Stopping by from PYHO.

  8. Oh girl- that sounds so frantic! And to have the storm on top of it! You need a break!

  9. Oh no! Your post has me gasping for air! Hang in there!! I hope things start to settle down soon! Stopping by from PYHO.

  10. I couldn’t and wouldn’t choose to live like that. I’m sure you have your reasons. I like my life simple and slow. I’ve made some difficult choices to make it so. I guess you have to… Good luck on the rollercoaster….

  11. Pingback: Power back on!! House still a mess :( « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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  13. Pingback: We Are All Going to Drown…. | Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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