Well – let’s say I have learned a little bit about birthday parties – and I have spent a small fortune on bouncing facilities, carousels, clowns, face painters, etc…..
So, I took a risk and hosted a Halloween party for Michael on Saturday!
I was a little concerned about hosting 16 kids in costume (9 of which came toting a light saber – which usually is a recipe for disaster.) But I learned from Martha – and I only planned one structured activity.
So a good bulk of the party the kids were left to run wild – chasing each other with their weapons…..They loved it!!
Mr. Gaga and I even dressed up, we had a fog machine and a bloody hand like Martha had suggested and scary decorations.
I even made an amazing graveyard cake!
There were no fights.
There were no tears.
I mean if this keeps up – I might have to end this blog….what is this world coming to??
And in other “Mother of the Year” news – I went to Michael’s school on Friday to have lunch with him for his birthday. I have to say a couple of things about this……
(You didn’t think this was going to be all about happy children and good kids’ parties and being a good mom did you??)
Ok – first of all, there is a new phenomenon where the children of today want their mother to be with them all the time.
Can you believe this horse shit?
However- if my mother even put one toe into my school cafeteria – I would have hidden under the table so fast or pretended I went blind like Mary from Little House on the Prairie.
(That show led me to believe that you could go completely blind at any minute for no good reason – so I would often stare straight ahead and pretend I went blind.)
Not this generation.
As a mother – this new attitude of loving your mother is great – because Michael was sooo excited to see me – his eyes lit up and he patted the seat next to him to show me where to sit…. ( my heart soared.)
It was ‘picture day” – so he looked especially cute with his hair gelled in his Ralph Lauren “handsome shirt,” waiting anxiously for my arrival.
I brought him McDonald’s in a Halloween Happy Meal container and I think he might have been as happy to see me as the food.
I would have kept in character of a blind girl and felt around with my hands and snatched that Happy Meal and ran away.
But anyways – it was nice to sit and eat with my son and chat. So when there was a lull in the conversation I took a second to look around at the surroundings and the other children.
I was so confused.
Wait a second……Did I get my dates mixed up? Is this “picture day” or is this “try out for the role of orphan in the production of “Annie?”
I slowly started peering around table by table and assessing the situation. I could not believe my eyes. You know how I am not a fan of the latest craze of letting your kids go to school looking like heroin addicts with snarled hair, well that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Let me be clear – I live in an AFFLUENT TOWN.
One child I know of that lives in a home that is approximately 6000 square feet and has live-in domestic help, had shorts on that looked like pajamas and a shirt that didn’t match.
What goes on in people’s homes in the morning? As I returned my attention back to the table I was at, I looked at the boy directly to the left of me.
I am not kidding you when I say that this was what this 7-year-old boy was wearing……
I had to stop myself from staring in horror openly. God, my eyes……it would actually be good to be Mary in this cafeteria.
What the hell goes on????
Do people just not give a shit anymore??
At the very least could you give the kid something seasonally appropriate?
(It was 60 degrees and torrential downpours on Friday.)
I will say that whenever I get involved with the kids’ activities/school I get more glimpses of the bizarre world that we live in.
Is this just my town or is this a new phenomenon of parents everywhere? Parents that are too tired, overwhelmed, old?? to care about minor things like combing their children’s hair or putting an outfit on their 7-year-old son – that is not his baby sister’s summer clothes…….
Either way – there’s one great thing about this…..
My kids look like freaking rock stars.
Oh and P.S. – I am keeping this all light and cute because if I stop and think about the fact that I have a 6-year-old!!!! I will cry…..so please click on the banner below to vote for me!!! Thanks so much! xoxox, Lady Goo Goo Gaga