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False Advertising

So by the third round of the stomach bug, I pretty much turned the TV on and gave my kindergartener the remote and let him watch all day.  For the first couple rounds of illness and the first 10 snowstorms I tried to utilize the game closet, but how much “Guess Who” and “Handy Manny Uno” can someone take? Plus, I had many hours of “Lysoling” and sheet-washing ahead of me, so I just let it go.

I should know better than to do this, because by throwing caution to the wind, he will now get to watch 500 commercials, and he has been known to get lured in by advertisements.  When he was 3, he somehow saw an infomercial and was so taken in by it, he requested the Touch n’ Brush for Christmas. This device is a “Hands-free toothpaste dispenser that gives you toothpaste in just one touch!”  It was supposedly a device that would suction-cup to your bathroom wall and you could stick your toothpaste tube into it – and then you just stick your toothbrush in a with “NO MESS!!” you could get the “perfect amount of toothpaste on your brush!”  Well fast-forward to the Christmas delivery of said item, and we had toothpaste dripping down our walls, on the shower curtain, on the floor, big hard balls of toothpaste hanging off the device.  We had to finally throw it away and explain to our distraught 3-year-old  about the concept of false advertising.

So I’m upstairs doing “my chores” of “Lysoling” doorknobs, light switches, stuffed animals and anything else my germophobic mind can think of, and my son calls me every two seconds for a drink, a garbage can to barf into, a kleenex, etc.,etc. Then as he starts to feel better he starts calling for other reasons. 


I run down the stairs, “What?”

“Do you have trouble bending down to wash your feet in the shower?” he asked excitedly from his spot on the couch.

“Um…..I guess, ” I answered, not knowing where he was going with this line of questioning.

“You need Easy Feet! It’s like a slipper with brushes in it to scrub your feet without bending over, so your back won’t hurt!”

“Ok thanks.”

A 1/2 hour later…..I come up from the laundry room to find him rummaging around in my pocketbook.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for something.” he says frantically.

“No – get out of my bag.”

“No..wait Mom!” he says pulling out my Louis Vuitton wallet. “Mom, do you think that if a huge truck ran this over it would be destroyed?”

“Michael,  I think that if a huge truck ran over my wallet, then something is going horribly wrong, but I actually think its pretty thick and durable……I think it might be ok.”

“Ok – well we need to get the “Little Wallet” for Daddy then….its this wallet, and if he drops it and a huge truck runs it over, it’s not even ruined.”

“Ok – we will think about it….”

“No Mom, he really needs it!” he’s pleading with me now.

I stare at him.  Ok, one more game of “Guess Who” never killed anyone.

Linking up with Carri from Adventures in Mommyhood
for Sunday Funday!


10 responses »

  1. This is funny. But it makes me wonder, why not read to him? When my kids are ill, I read the classics to them all day. My daughter knew all of Jane Austen’s novels by the time she was 7. My son was very well versed in James Joyce. There is nothing more captivating for a five year old than an 800 page novel written in the 19th century.

  2. Yet again, I laughed until I cried! However, there are just times that you have to put on the television in order to get things done. Lady Goo Goo: I believe the next time calls for a classic movie, like any of the Disney ones. This way, he’s occupied enough for you to get done what you must, and you avoid all of the commercials! Michael is too funny!

  3. I know exactly how you feel, our 2 year old suffered through a week-long bout of the stomach flu not too long ago. I think my husband watched “Annie” and “the Little Mermaid” about 30 times each. What else can you do for them when they are so miserable and barfing every 10 minutes?? (I of course was busy doing laundry and lysoling things. oh and taking care of the 3 month old. fun times)

  4. We had the bout of the poops and vomit for a while at my house….their is something about being pooped on and vomited on for the 100th time that makes you cry…Really I cried. p.s my daugther is an info-mercial freak! she got the touch-n-brush, snuggy, and the egg(to exfoliate the feet). She doesn’t need it but she is an inner old lady.

  5. Pingback: Where a Kid can be a Kid « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

  6. Just discovered your blog through my good friend at Ava Grace’s Closet. Thank you for telling it like it is. This particular one had me LoL’ing. Cant wait for my almost 3 year old to start some of these antics.

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