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Lady’s Favorite Things 2013 edition


So last year I listed some of my favorite things and I thought I would make it an annual tradition.  Maybe I will help you with a gift idea, but also I just like to tell people what to do.  Since the people I live with don’t listen to me when I tell them what to do – I figure I can just tell all of you instead.

Think of it like Oprah’s Favorite things, except that I only have like 5 favorite things instead of hundreds, and also – I won’t be giving anyone a car or really much of anything.

I just want to tell you all about a few things that have brought me great joy this year:

#1 – BREAKING BAD:

meth-breaking-bad-bryan-cranston-large

If you have not watched this program – you are so lucky.

That means you can binge-watch the whole series this winter.   It is absolutely some of the best television you will ever watch.

Thank you Breaking Bad for bringing me many hours of delightful entertainment that I would have otherwise spent watching yet another housewife drink too much Pinot Grigio.

This is also a great gift idea – Buy the whole set of DVD’s for someone and change their life!

2 – Waterproof Eye makeup:

I said this last year – but it needs reiterating.

So somewhere between the lack of sleep, the aging, the hurried getting ready in the morning and the horrible weather in Connecticut, there comes a need for waterproof eye makeup.

I totally had it together before the kids.  I had my cosmetics routine down pat.

Somehow the new wrinkles and puffs that children brought to my eye area, as well as the lack of time to do nice eye makeup – resulted in a black smudged mascara and liner all around my eyes on the daily.

If you think looking like a heroin addict is a cute look for volunteering at the bake sale, you are mistaken.

The worst is when you don’t even realize you look like a lunatic until you get back into your car and you have already chatted it up with 5 moms and the school principal.

Sure, I would love to set up a playdate! Your house or mine??
Sure, I would love to set up a playdate! Your house or mine??

Last year I talked about the the Laura Mercier Caviar Stick (which is still up there in my list of faves)   However, this year Laura Mercier invented the best eyeliner in the history of eyeliners.  It actually can be worn for days at a time without a smudge!!!  It is gel, it is waterproof and it is the best invention since the DVR.

I am giving one of you a Laura Mercier Gel Liner in Slate ($20) this week just because I love you…(see below for details)

slate

 

3 – Orange is the New Black

Alex-Piper-orange-is-the-new-black-35506831-1269-710

I have very little leisure time.  At night I have to make hard choices.  Should I continue to watch back to back episodes of Mob Wives until one in the morning? Or should I go to bed and read some of my book so that my book club doesn’t hate me? Or should I read US Weekly?

Maybe I should wax my moustache…..or fold some laundry…..

I should change this nail polish.

I should catch up on the 23 episodes of the Bethenney show that are stored in my DVR…..

You see how this could get dicey.

A book has to be quite entertaining to lure me up to my room when there are so many entertainment options….

So I have to say I was quite intrigued by the prison culture that was in the book Orange is the New Black.  So much so, that I was even considering committing a crime in order to get whisked away to this magical spa-like place they call “jail.”

Read this book and you will see why going to the slammer isn’t necessarily the worst idea.

TELL ME THE BEST BOOK YOU READ THIS YEAR IN THE COMMENTS BELOW AND I WILL PICK A RANDOM PERSON TO SEND MY COPY OF ORANGE TO……

4 – LITTLE GREEN POUCH

OK, I am definitely a far cry from an environmentalist.  Apparently very responsible people don’t use styrofoam, don’t litter and like spay and neuter their animals (not sure if that has to do with environment – but really couldn’t even think of one more thing to say regarding that in particular.)

Also – they can use little containers for food that are reusable.

The creators of the little green pouch have offered to send one of you a “little green pouch,” which is a reusable food pouch for kids that was one of DAILY CANDY’S featured finds.  Like this post on facebook to be entered to win!

greenpouch

5 – EXFOLIKATE:

I have never been to California.  I imagine it to be a bunch of blonde people who rollerblade and eat kale and talk about their acting careers and say “dude” a lot.

I don’t really take much seriously that Californians are in to.  I don’t rollerblade, I don’t love kale and I am not an actress.  I have dark brown hair and I never say “dude.”

This is pretty much what I envision.

This is pretty much what I envision.

Apparently there is one well-kept secret from the Californians that I actually do enjoy.

Her name is KATE SOMERVILLE and she is a GENIUS!

The line just came to my local Nordstrom.  I was very skeptical….

Then I tried the EXFOLIKATE.  This scrub is the most amazing thing to touch your face.  Your face will feel like a baby’s butt when you are done.  So even though you are tired and weathered and old – at least your skin will feel like a baby’s butt!! What more can we ask for at this point??

Go to Nordstrom and get this  - you can thank me later for your new face.

Go to Nordstrom and get this – you can thank me later for your new face.

I hope I have given you some good info this week  – Don’t worry I will be back to regular business of calling children assholes next week for sure!!!

LIKE THIS POST ON FACEBOOK!!! for the LAURA MERCIER Slate Eyeliner that will change your life and ensure that you don’t look like a crystal meth addict the next time you are stuck in rain running errands…..

ALSO LEAVE ME A COMMENT WITH SOME GOOD BOOK SUGGESTIONS!!!

Winners will be picked randomly (US AND CANADA ONLY) between now and Sunday December 15th at 5 PM!

All of the opinions and mentions are my own opinion and nobody gave me anything!!! (as usual) and I’m just telling you to use these things because I like telling people what to do.

XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA

One more favorite thing….


Sunday I published a list of a few of my favorite things, but I forgot one!

Anything where I have a starring role is of course one of my faves….so I have to mention that I have been published in a collection of stories/E-Book called No Laughing Allowed .

This is part of an online series calledLife Well Blogged”  and you can actually purchase it on Amazon!! 

So when you are trying to avoid talking to other mothers while are picking up your kids at Mad Science and you are pretending to read very important emails on your phone…you can really be reading funny mom stories.

A portion of the proceeds from the book will go to Storm Sandy relief…..it’s a win-win.

Also don’t forget to like me on Facebook or sign up for my tweets to enter to win a Laura Mercier Caviar Stick which normally retails for $24 and will help you to look beautiful and trendy while you are ignoring all the other mothers….

Happy Holidays!!

XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA

Caviar_Stick_Smoke_4

Lady’s Favorite Things


So this is like Oprah’s Favorite things, except that I am just a little bit fat and not rich like Oprah…..and except 50 favorite things I have like 8…..and of the 8, I am only giving away one thing to one person…..so don’t get too excited.

A friend who is newly pregnant for the first time was complaining that she didn’t know what to ask her husband to get her for Christmas.

“Get something luxurious – because this is it for you sister…” I said knowingly.

“No way!!!” she responded not-knowingly.

I then guided her through Nordstrom pointing out some items to ask for that she would never think of until it was too late.

This has inspired me to compile a list of items to add to your wish list to help you survive motherhood….

Before you have children you have no idea how they will ruin you mentally and physically.

It is not something that happens overnight.

The graying, the aging, the dark-circling, the overall weathering….it’s a slow process.

When all is said and done, when your last child goes into school full-day, you will finally have a minute to look in the mirror and you will be frightened at what you see.

I remember thinking I looked completely hideous when Michael was a baby.

I look back at pictures from that time and I realize I looked like Gisele then compared to what I look like now.

There are ways to keep things somewhat under control….here are some tips:

#1 – UNDEREYE CONCEALER -I actually speak of this in my blog bio page - because I truly consider it a survival tool for motherhood.  Particularly Cle de Peau concealer, which retails for $70.  It is worth EVERY PENNY!!  It’s like a night’s sleep in a tube.

#2 – RAIN BOOTS - Somehow I avoided water and weather for 25 years.

Upon having children, every doctor’s appointment, music class and preschool time will magically coincide with torrential downpours.

My Tory Burch Rainboots are one of my best investments.  They get me out of a lot of jams….

boots

They can be Burberry or Hunter boots or Target…it doesn’t matter the brand…just do it.

It’s not enough that we are fat and tired??

The least we can do is have dry feet for god sakes.

3 – Keurig Coffeemaker - When my in-laws got this for us a couple of years ago, I was thinking I didn’t really need it and it would take up counter space.

Oh how wrong I was. I do need it.  You know how you offer a hot beverage to a mom or a kid when they are at your house for a playdate and they take you up on it??  That’s why you need this.

Or when you are running late and you don’t have time for the whole deal with the coffee pot?

Do it.

4 – Keratin Treatment - I have mentioned in the past how my hair resembles a dobie pad.    When you have small children and limited time to take care of yourself – and you have the same hair as Whoopi Goldberg this can be problematic.

This is the famous picture of me before I started doing keratin treatments....

This is the famous picture of me before I started doing keratin treatments….

Keratin is my friend.  These treatments allow me to go days without washing or blow-drying my hair.  It can be your friend too.  It can be pricey for treatments in the salon, but you can also try an at-home treatment.  You can enter to win a free one at http://theglossgirls.com

You’re welcome.

5 – Bissell Perfect Sweep Turbo - Listen – we all know I am not winning any cleaning awards anytime soon.  This little electric sweeper is the best thing to come into my household in a long time.  It actually can sweep up everything on bare floors or rugs with ease…including ……LEGOS!!!!!

bissell

Bissell was so kind to give me a complimentary sweeper last year - and since then countless friends and family have purchased one and loved them!!

6 – Waterproof Eye makeup:  – So somewhere between the lack of sleep, the hurried getting ready in the morning and the torrential downpours, there comes a need for waterproof eye makeup.

I totally had it together before the kids.  I had my cosmetics routine down pat.

Somehow the new wrinkles and puffs that children brought to my eye area, as well as the lack of time to do nice eye makeup – resulted in a black smudged mascara and liner all around my eyes on the daily.

If you think looking like a heroin addict is a cute look for the children’s library class, you are sadly mistaken.

The worst is when you don’t even realize you look like a lunatic until you get back into your car and you have already chatted it up with 5 moms and the librarian.

Sure, I would love to set up a playdate! Your house or mine??

Sure, I would love to set up a playdate! Your house or mine??

My absolute FAVORITE waterproof eye makeup tool is the Laura Mercier Caviar Stick...It can be eyeliner and shadow and it will not budge all day long.

I am giving one of you a Laura Mercier Caviar Stick in Smoke ($24) this week just because I love you…(see below for details)

Caviar_Stick_Smoke_4

7 – UGGS  -I truly don’t know what mothers did before UGGS were invented.  Pamela Anderson started the trend for moms to wear UGGS with anything and everything and thank God.  What would moms wear to the bus stop in the old days? KEDS? A heel??

Thanks again Pamela for being the voice of reason for moms across America......

Thanks again Pamela for being the voice of reason for moms across America……

It doesn’t matter if you think they are ugly.

It also doesn’t matter if they are no longer in style.

It’s a non-negotiable piece of “Mom-footwear.” Put one toe into these bad boys and there’s no going back.  Once your feet are inside these soft boots filled with what feels like clouds from heaven,  you won’t care if you look like Gene Simmons.

Come to think of it, with the makeup all over his face, the underwear with metal spikes on it in case your husband gets an ideas, the bad hair, and the ugly boots...Gene Simmons should be the mascot for motherhood.....

Come to think of it, with the makeup all over his face, the underwear with metal spikes on it to keep romance at bay, the bad hair, and the ugly boots…Gene Simmons should be the mascot for motherhood…..

And finally my number one item topping the list is something that I don’t have yet, but I know I should.  It is consistently on my to-get list, and I just never get around to doing it.

A CLEANING LADY!!!

I just never get around to hiring one and the next thing I know the bathrooms are disgusting and the Hoarders crew is at my house trying to interview me…..Sigh.

Now to the fun part -

If you SIGN UP FOR MY TWEETS  (@lgoogoogaga) you get one entry and

if  you LIKE ME ON FACEBOOK you get another entry towards the

LAURA MERCIER CAVIAR STICK that will change your life and ensure that you don’t look like a crystal meth addict the next time you are stuck in rain running errands…..

Winner will be picked randomly (US AND CANADA ONLY) between now and Sunday December 16th at 5 PM!

As a sidenote – none of the products mentioned above have been sent to me for review except for my BISSELL…..which frankly I think is just rude……

All of the opinions and mentions are my own opinion and I think you should listen to me – because I know what I am talking about…..just sayin.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA

PLEASE SHARE ON FACEBOOK!!! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT NEED SOME HELP WITH THEIR WISH LISTS THIS SEASON!!!!!

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