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I’m Freshly Pressed!


Even though I regularly make fun of parents that overschedule their children and even though I know that what’s best for most children is to play and enjoy sports and activities, instead of using them as a veiled attempt at the NFL or college scholarships…..

I still can’t help but have a teensy weensy bit of a competitive nature.

Let’s face it. Who doesn’t want their kids to excel? Who doesn’t enjoy seeing their kids be the best ones on the field?

I miss most sports on the weekend while I am working – so I call Mr. Gaga (otherwise known as the voice of doom and failure) for updates.

“How were the kids games?” I asked the other day.
“Fine.” he answered curtly.
“Did they win?”
“One did – one didn’t.”
Well, did they at least play well?” I delved further.
“Um…no…not really.”
“Why? Did they score?”
“Nope.”
“Did they like catch the ball?”
“It’s actually referred to as a rebound – and no they didn’t.”
“Why?” I asked with despair.
“I don’t know! Who cares? They had a good time!”
“A good time?” I asked weakly. “Ok.”

I hung up depressed.

Later when I got home I brought it up again.

“You always say the kids aren’t good at sports.” I said to Mr. Gaga.

“Yeah – cause they’re not.” he answered matter-of-factly.

“Well then I guess I have to just make sure they’re smart.” he sighed.

“Well you’re the problem,” Mr. Gaga said with annoyance.  “You are just obsessed with them being good…just let them have fun.”

“I’m sorry when is being a big fat loser fun?” I asked defensively.

I stared at Mr. Gaga.

I thought to myself, he will never care if we are all just mediocre.  I am totally alone in my quest for high achievement.

During dinner I turned my attention towards Michael.

“Michael are you the smartest in your class?”

Well, probably the second smartest, Ahmeet is the smartest in the class.” he answered in between bites. “He has the highest score in Sum Dog…he gets every answer right.”

“Well, you need to take him down,” I answered calmly.

“What do you mean?” he answered innocently.

“I mean you need to strive to be the best….better and smarter that Ahmeet.” I answered matter-of-factly.

He stared at me blankly.  “How do I do that?”

I put down my fork and stared back at him.

“Michael.”

“Yes?”

“Sweep the leg.” I said.

"What?" he asked in despair.

“What?” he asked in despair.

“Sweep the leg.” I repeated.

I peeked at Mr. Gaga’s reaction – because I knew I was pushing it and that I was going to be yelled at for being a “Tiger Mom” any minute.

Even Michael knew that he could turn to his father for some reassurance.

He turned to Mr. Gaga who had been calmly eating his dinner during this entire exchange.

“Dad? I don’t know what she’s talking about!” he whined.

Without skipping a beat he said  “Do you have a problem Mr. Lawrence?”

My heart soared.  I am so thankful to have a partner to torture my children with.  Even when they don’t know what we are talking about.

No mercy when it comes to the third grade.

There should be no mercy when it comes to the third grade.

 

What?

I will take them to therapy later!!!

BLOG NEWS!!!

In February of 2011, on a snowy day after being stuck in the house all day with my kids, I walked through the snowy streets to my cousin’s house.

Newly married, filled with youth and hope, she encouraged me to set up a free blog on WordPress.  I took her advice thinking it might be nice to tell some of my motherhood stories as an outlet, and a way to get back into writing.

When I chose the name of my blog and got set up I went to the homepage of WordPress.  There was something called “Freshly Pressed.”  Here the WORDPRESS people chose the best bloggers across the blogosphere and featured them.

I stared at it and remember thinking how amazing it would be to be chosen as one of those writers.  But that would be fairly impossible.

Three years later in February of 2014 I wrote a little piece about how the news isn’t what it used to be and I  am currently featured as a “Freshly Pressed” blogger!!!

ernie

It is such an honor – and so amazing to have the feedback and readership of so many amazing bloggers and writers.

This blog gave me something to focus on besides dirty diapers and dirty laundry.  It gave me a purpose on some of my darkest days.  I always just wanted to tell my stories and have been so thrilled to find that you are all still listening to me.

Thank you WordPress! You have saved my life in more ways than you know!

XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA

 

 

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17 responses »

  1. congratulations! that was a really funny post!

    Reply
  2. Strike first
    Strike hard
    No mercy sir!

    Reply
  3. Every couple needs to stick together; & it is more fun to torture with a teammate!

    Reply
  4. Awesome. Have you seen the music video to Sweep The Leg? It’s a few years old, but fan-freakin-tastic!

    Reply
  5. Now I have the Best of the Best song stuck in my head.

    Reply
  6. Congrats on your Fresh Pressing, but seriously, if anything should be Freshly Pressed it’s this post because of your use of the phrase “sweep the leg.” If I had an award I’d give it to you.

    Reply
  7. Congratulations! I aspire to join you in that accomplishment! Mazel tov, as my people say!

    Reply
  8. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!:-)

    Reply
  9. Congratulations on being freshly pressed!
    I am sadly one of those moms. I want my kiddo to win! lol.
    And my oldest is only 4 years old. But she is fantastic at soccer and gymnastics.
    I bet as she gets older it will only get worse. ;)
    And yes, Teaming up against the kids with the DH is the best.

    Reply
  10. Big Congrats! (You “took them down!)

    Reply
  11. Pingback: Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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