The other day at the store Michael was pointing to something in the deli case.
“Mom kids in my class have this for lunch all the time…I want to get that.” he said.
“Absolutely not.” I said as I pushed the cart away, “When you see children that have that for lunch it means that their mother doesn’t love them…see how lucky you are to have me?”
He nodded and seemed to understand.
It reminded me in general as Mother’s Day approaches just how incredibly lucky Michael and Sam are to have me….
I am going to repost from last Mother’s Day my list of reasons why…..
TOP TEN REASONS WHY MY KIDS ARE LUCKY THAT I AM THEIR MOTHER:
1 – Of course – just stating the obvious here – but even though I am Italian and spent many years going tanning my kids are lucky enough that I don’t roast them in a tanning bed.
2 – I let my children choose from refreshing beverages like milk or water and I give them Flintstones Vitamins with Extra C to build immunity! I don’t breastfeed them until they are old enough to have one hand on a Wii controller and the other on my boob.
3 – If I did do something that could potentially scar them for life or embarrass them in front of their friends, I wouldn’t let some magazine reporter and photographer document said activity and publish it for the world to see. I would not do that even if it was for the cover of TIME Magazine, because although I have a blog which could be seen as a touch narcissistic, I am not a complete asshole.
5 – I could possibly be considered a “milf.” This is especially noticeable when compared to the “milgamo’s” around this town. (“Milgamo” stands for – “moms I’d like to give a make-over.) This doesn’t necessarily mean much – but when the kids are older I am sure they will take comfort in knowing that when I pick them up from school I won’t be wearing ‘mom-jeans.”
6 – Even though other mothers in town seem to “forget” to comb their children’s hair or let their hair grow to the floor because “Johnny doesn’t like getting his hair cut,” I get my boys frequent haircuts and comb their hair regularly.
I think it is important that they don’t look like drag queens on heroin at the bus stop - (like many young boys do these days.)
7 – I make sure that my children are not fat and lazy. On nice days I often send them outside and lock all the doors, keeping them out for long stretches of time.
When they try to come inside and watch television or play video games, I yell and say “Do you want to be fat and lazy like all of your friends? Do you??” and shove them back out the door.
8 -I don’t really make them go to church. My father made me go every living Sunday of my life. I think my kids are pretty lucky that I am too lazy and tired and not-god-fearing enough, to make them go. When we do go on occasion, if they laugh and act crazy, I probably join in instead of yelling at them. (Sorry Jesus.)
9 – I keep it real. I don’t hide the nitty-gritty facts of life. The threat that my children might some day really end up in “bad boy school,” keeps everyone on their toes around here. “Bad boy school” is a place that my mother-in-law taught me about. It is a place where boys go when they are mean and rotten and can be conveniently seen from the highway! I drive fast enough by it that they never really get a good look.
I always say “Oh look I see little sad faces peeking out the windows….See them??”
They always look out the window frantically with looks of horror – and say “Yes! I see them!!”
Otherwise known as the Colt Building in Hartford, it’s the “Bad Boy School” in the Gaga household. I always say as we drive by – “There it is kids! Keep it up and that’s where you will be living soon!”
10- I BLOG about my life and theirs – so they will have plenty of evidence of what a good mother I am and how much I love them!!!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF THE MOMS! AND AS A MOTHER’S DAY GIFT TO ME – PLEASE CLICK THE BANNER BELOW!!!XOXO, LADYGOOGOOGAGA