I don’t want you to think by last week’s post I didn’t enjoy my vacation to Disney World with my family. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun we had.
I was envisioning myself miserably waiting on long lines in the heat surrounded by people gnawing on turkey legs.
Wait…that is what happened, but somehow it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.
Plus all along I kept thinking about all the material I was gathering for my blog!!
All that waiting in line sure did give me a picture of human behavior. I took a few pictures to capture what I was seeing, the funniest thing is that I took pictures of people right up in their grill and none of them noticed!!
I guess it was the magic of Disney!
TEN THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT HUMANS IN DISNEY WORLD:
1 – Crying children don’t bother people:
It actually started on the plane. There was a baby crying nonstop on the plane. It was making my skin crawl and when I looked around to see if everyone was annoyed, it seemed nobody cared.
Then when we got to Disney World people were constantly strolling around screaming babies. Toddlers would have full-blown melt-downs at every turn, and the parents could be seen happily posing in front of Cinderella’s castle with Mickey ears on, as though all was right with the world.
The best was the people who dragged crying toddlers through a line for a ride that they didn’t want to go on. The kid would be screaming that he hated Pirates in line for Pirates of the Caribbean, and the parents would just be ignoring him, pushing him through the line nonchalantly.
2-People are generally very hungry and thirsty:
I mentioned last week how alarmed I was to find that everyone drank enormous sodas all day in Disney World. I also found it interesting that people seemed to need lots of snacks throughout the day. People milled around eating ice cream, popcorn, pretzels, and of course, huge turkey legs.
We kind of got sucked in to this non-stop eating. Any beverage or snack we purchased was always marketed as being “refillable.” Apparently people just love “refilling” every open container they own.
For example, we bought a small plastic container of popcorn for $8 and then we were able to refill it all day for 99 cents a refill. We ate our weight in popcorn that day.
Mr. Gaga bought a “refillable” pilsner glass that proved to be very enjoyable as well.
3 – Couples go on romantic getaways to Disney World:
To each his own, but I don’t quite understand how this could be a romantic getaway. Have I mentioned the screaming toddlers? The huge beverages? The enormous people running over your toes with their motorized carts?
How about Aruba or Turks and Caicos for your romantic pleasures?
That way when we are in line for a ride, we don’t have to look at this:
4 – People are obsessed with Mickey Mouse:
The joy that people get from this mouse and his friends is shocking. When the characters come out people wait in line for hours to get their autograph!!!
I find this amazing. I hate to be “Debbie Downer” but, we all know that this is some weird guy in a mouse suit right?
And the ears? People wear those ears like nobody’s business. It’s like when people walk around with Santa Hats on at Christmastime, they think it’s perfectly normal just to walk around pretending that they are Mickey Mouse all day.
5 – Pregnant women can be unstoppable:
Kudos to the dozens of pregnant women I saw pushing strollers, waiting in lines, eating turkey legs…..
Sorry, but if I was pregnant this place would seem like hell on earth.
I would be puffy from all the popcorn and the heat, my feet would be swollen, my legs would hurt and I would probably want to cry myself from all of the crying children. Oh yeah, and guess what?
You can’t go on rides when you’re pregnant so you can spend your time in the stroller park waiting for the rest of your party.
6 - What’s a stroller park you ask?
It’s where you park your stroller while you go on a ride.
One might think that strollers would be limited to children that are very small and need to be strolled around due to size and age. That is not the case.
Apparently in America, there is no size or age to large for a stroller.
Humongous children are placed in double strollers in Disney World and pushed around by their indulgent parents so that the children don’t have to get too tired or exert themselves too much.
It can prove difficult to navigate through the park, watching out for lazy people in motorized carts and these parents and their adult-sized children in strollers.
Even yelling out “What the fuck?!” loudly as a woman ran over my entire foot with her man-child in a stroller, didn’t stop her as she zipped off into the sunset.
Just an idea….they should call it “Stroller World.”
7 – People are good:
I don’t know if it was because everyone is under some sort of magical spell or something, but people were so nice and so pleasant in Disney World. Any staff we encountered were very helpful and cheerful, and happy!
Also, in stroller world, people leave their strollers out unattended with cameras, bags, baby supplies, etc. and nobody worries about stealing!
It’s a downright utopia!
8 – Injuries do not deter people from enjoying Disney World:
I don’t know what is happening in this country, maybe people aren’t being careful…maybe they aren’t drinking enough milk and their bones aren’t up to par….but I have never seen so many injured people in my life.
Everywhere I looked people with broken limbs were hopping on rides and gnawing on turkey legs!
People with casts for broken bones or other serious injuries could be found in every line. Take it easy people! Maybe you should be home resting!!
9 – It’s a great place to cure yourself of OCD:
If I pump gas or touch a cart at the grocery store, I can’t even think straight until I douse myself and the children with gallons of hand sanitizer. We recently went bowling and I scrubbed inside all the holes in the balls before I would let the kids use them. I went to Disney World armed with wipes and hand sanitizer galore. It proved to be fruitless.
The very first ride we went on was Star Tours in Hollywood Studios. When we got through the line, and were about to go on the ride, we were told to grab a pair of 3D glasses. I stared helplessly at the glasses and weighed the options.
I took a deep breath and put them on and enjoyed the ride. I soon realized that every other ride we went on required these disgusting glasses and that we had to touch filthy seatbelts and get splashed with filthy water and sit on filthy seats throughout the day.
It was hopeless. I threw in the towel to the point where I stopped even feeling dirty.
When we got to Mexico in Epcot I only thought about lice for a fleeting moment as I snapped this picture of Michael and Sam.
10 –People like to waste their money:
Everywhere you turn there is Disney World merchandise for sale. It’s insane. Everywhere you turn your kids are asking for something. Everywhere you turn people are buying the craziest Mickey Mouse stuff.
I have enough problems with my messy house, the last thing I need is 4 pairs of Mickey Mouse ears lying around….
Or Pirates of the Caribbean swords…..
Or pirate hooks…..
Or two $25 light sabers…..
Or Star Wars light saber key chains
Or Disney World refrigerator magnets
Or a Universal Studios mug…..
Or a Mickey Mouse Christmas ornament…..
Or Mickey Mouse salt and pepper shakers…..
Or a Spongebob ball
Or a Japanese headband from Epcot
Or a Mexican instrument-thingy of some sort from Epcot
Or a Spongebob shirt
Well what do you know…I got the merchandise fever and purchased everything listed above…..
like an idiot.
WELL ACTUALLY AT LEAST I HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO NOT BUY THE $25 MOUSE EARS!!!! CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR ME!! THANK YOU!!!! XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA