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What I learned about human beings in Disney World


I don’t want you to think by last week’s post I didn’t enjoy my vacation to Disney World with my family.  I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun we had.

I was envisioning myself miserably waiting on long lines in the heat surrounded by people gnawing on turkey legs.

Wait…that is what happened, but somehow it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

Plus all along I kept thinking about all the material I was gathering for my blog!!

All that waiting in line sure did give me a picture of human behavior.  I took a few pictures to capture what I was seeing, the funniest thing is that I took pictures of people right up in their grill and none of them noticed!!

I guess it was the magic of Disney!

TEN THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT HUMANS IN DISNEY WORLD:

1 – Crying children don’t bother people:

It actually started on the plane.  There was a baby crying nonstop on the plane.  It was making my skin crawl and when I looked around to see if everyone was annoyed, it seemed nobody cared.

sleeping people

Then when we got to Disney World people were constantly strolling around screaming babies.  Toddlers would have full-blown melt-downs at every turn, and the parents could be seen happily posing in front of Cinderella’s castle with Mickey ears on, as though all was right with the world.

The best was the people who dragged crying toddlers through a line for a ride that they didn’t want to go on.  The kid would be screaming that he hated Pirates in line for Pirates of the Caribbean, and the parents would just be ignoring him, pushing him through the line nonchalantly.

2-People are generally very hungry and thirsty:

I mentioned last week how alarmed I was to find that everyone drank enormous sodas all day in Disney World.  I also found it interesting that people seemed to need lots of snacks throughout the day.  People milled around eating ice cream, popcorn, pretzels, and of course, huge turkey legs.

We kind of got sucked in to this non-stop eating.  Any beverage or snack we purchased was always marketed as being “refillable.” Apparently people just love “refilling” every open container they own.

For example, we bought a small plastic container of popcorn for $8 and then we were able to refill it all day for 99 cents a refill.    We ate our weight in popcorn that day.

Mr. Gaga bought a “refillable” pilsner glass that proved to be very enjoyable as well.

3 – Couples go on romantic getaways to Disney World:

To each his own, but I don’t quite understand how this could be a romantic getaway.  Have I mentioned the screaming toddlers? The huge beverages?  The enormous people running over your toes with their motorized carts?

How about Aruba or Turks and Caicos for your romantic pleasures?

That way when we are in line for a ride, we don’t have to look at this:

kissing2

I am sorry – but get a room please….and also while you are at it can you please wear shorts and a shirt that fit? People who are behind you in line for 45 minutes with their children shouldn’t have to look at this.

4 – People are obsessed with Mickey Mouse:

The joy that people get from this mouse and his friends is shocking.  When the characters come out people wait in line for hours to get their autograph!!!

I find this amazing.  I hate to be “Debbie Downer” but, we all know that this is some weird guy in a mouse suit right?

And the ears? People wear those ears like nobody’s business.  It’s like when people walk around with Santa Hats on at Christmastime, they think it’s perfectly normal just to walk around pretending that they are Mickey Mouse all day.

This is a very common scene...tremendously large humans with Mickey Mouse ears on with huge sodas....

This is a very common scene…tremendously large humans with Mickey Mouse ears on with huge sodas….

5 – Pregnant women can be unstoppable:

Kudos to the dozens of pregnant women I saw pushing strollers, waiting in lines, eating turkey legs…..

Sorry, but if I was pregnant this place would seem like hell on earth.

I would be puffy from all the popcorn and the heat, my feet would be swollen, my legs would hurt and I would probably want to cry myself from all of the crying children.  Oh yeah, and guess what?

You can’t go on rides when you’re pregnant so you can spend your time in the stroller park waiting for the rest of your party.

6 - What’s a stroller park you ask?

It’s where you park your stroller while you go on a ride.

This is a typical group of strollers outside a ride....

This is a typical group of strollers outside a ride….

One might think that strollers would be limited to children that are very small and need to be strolled around due to size and age.  That is not the case.

Apparently in America, there is no size or age to large for a stroller.

Humongous children are placed in double strollers in Disney World and pushed around by their indulgent parents so that the children don’t have to get too tired or exert themselves too much.

It can prove difficult to navigate through the park, watching out for lazy people in motorized carts and these parents and their adult-sized children in strollers.

Even yelling out “What the fuck?!” loudly as a woman ran over my entire foot with her man-child in a stroller, didn’t stop her as she zipped off into the sunset.

I mean look how much larger she is than the stroller!! If that guy lets go - the whole thing will tip over!

I mean look how much larger she is than the stroller!! She’s a tween for god sakes!! If that guy let’s go – the whole thing will tip over!

Just an idea….they should call it “Stroller World.”

7 – People are good:

I don’t know if it was because everyone is under some sort of magical spell or something, but people were so nice and so pleasant in Disney World.  Any staff we encountered were very helpful and cheerful, and happy!

Also, in stroller world, people leave their strollers out unattended with cameras, bags, baby supplies, etc.  and nobody worries about stealing!

It’s a downright utopia!

8 – Injuries do not deter people from enjoying Disney World:

I don’t know what is happening in this country, maybe people aren’t being careful…maybe they aren’t drinking enough milk and their bones aren’t up to par….but I have never seen so many injured people in my life.

Everywhere I looked people with broken limbs were hopping on rides and gnawing on turkey legs!

People with casts for broken bones or other serious injuries could be found in every line.  Take it easy people! Maybe you should be home resting!!

They all just limp along finding another ride to go on or turkey bone to lick...

They all just limp along finding another ride to go on or turkey bone to lick…

mickeyfam

Look how this guy balances his massive soda with a broken hand!! These injured people are so determined!!!

9 – It’s a great place to cure yourself of OCD:

If I pump gas or touch a cart at the grocery store, I can’t even think straight until I douse myself and the children with gallons of hand sanitizer.  We recently went bowling and I scrubbed inside all the holes in the balls before I would let the kids use them.  I went to Disney World armed with wipes and hand sanitizer galore.  It proved to be fruitless.

The very first ride we went on was Star Tours in Hollywood Studios.  When we got through the line, and were about to go on the ride, we were told to grab a pair of 3D glasses.  I stared helplessly at the glasses and weighed the options.

Could I convince my family to go on the ride without them to avoid the filth and bacteria that was thriving on these plastic germ-bombs?

Could I convince my family to go on the ride without glasses to avoid the bacteria that was thriving on these plastic germ-bombs?

I took a deep breath and put them on and enjoyed the ride.  I soon realized that every other ride we went on required these disgusting glasses and that we had to touch filthy seatbelts and get splashed with filthy water and sit on filthy seats throughout the day.

It was hopeless.  I threw in the towel to the point where I stopped even feeling dirty.

When we got to Mexico in Epcot I only thought about lice for a fleeting moment as I snapped this picture of Michael and Sam.

mexico2

10 –People like to waste their money:

Everywhere you turn there is Disney World merchandise for sale.  It’s insane.  Everywhere you turn your kids are asking for something.  Everywhere you turn people are buying the craziest Mickey Mouse stuff.

I have enough problems with my messy house, the last thing I need is 4 pairs of Mickey Mouse ears lying around….

Or Pirates of the Caribbean swords…..

Or pirate hooks…..

Or two $25 light sabers…..

Or Star Wars light saber key chains

Or Disney World refrigerator magnets

Or a Universal Studios mug…..

Or a Mickey Mouse Christmas ornament…..

Or Mickey Mouse salt and pepper shakers…..

Or a Spongebob ball

Or a Japanese headband from Epcot

Or a Mexican instrument-thingy of some sort from Epcot

Or a Spongebob shirt

Well what do you know…I got the merchandise fever and purchased everything listed above…..

like an idiot.

WELL ACTUALLY AT LEAST I HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO NOT BUY THE $25 MOUSE EARS!!!!  CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR ME!!  THANK YOU!!!! XO, LADY GOO GOO GAGA

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32 responses »

  1. Oh no!!!! Just booked to take the 7yo there for the first time in August, I know HOT, but also supposedly less crowded, whatever that means!
    Hmmm….can I fit my 7yo in a stroller???

    Reply
  2. WE went last year. Me, wife, three daughters – aged 17, 9, 8. my teenager took her friend who is a boy, tehre was a asisterin law w her 11-yearold and my mother in law. I learned a lot.

    1) Epcot effin rules because they have a lot of beer from a lot of different countries. (i went w wife and sis in law, kids were with grandma)

    2) Everyone else is hot, hungry, thirsty, with fed up kids too so get over it.

    3) there someone at the pool with a body worse than yours, in fact, you;re probably Baywatch material compared to most.

    4) Aerosmith may be a bunch of sellout a-holes but their rollercoaster kicks ass.

    5) Your shoulders will hurt for a week after you return home from kids sitting on them but the look of wonder in their eyes will be worth the ibuprofen habit.

    Reply
  3. People are lucky to go there!

    Reply
  4. The tween in the stroller got me. Also, Micky fans are downright damn devoted. I just don’t dig grown women in mouse ears and a Mickey University sweatshirt. I haven’t been to Disney since 1987. I now realize why my mother smoked so many cigarettes on That trip.

    Reply
  5. I love the couples who go without kids…like 5 times a year. Disney addicts looking for another mouse fix. Looking to score another dose of Happiest Place on Earth and Memory Making.

    I have a cart story. We waited for 25 minutes at the shuttle stop at our resort for a gargantuan woman in one of those carts to be lifted by some sort of forklift into the van. A group of about 10-15 people were detained while she unapologetically and in quite an entitled manner sat there in her cart unfazed. She wasn’t handicapped. That’s another thing. She was just huge. And, I might add, she had not one, not two, but three of those refillable super sized cups in her handy dandy cup holders. Argh.

    Oh, I love the meltdowns too. Disney is meltdown central. I once heard a parent shout at her crying child “We brought you here, now have a good time, dammit.” Sad, yet a little funny.

    Reply
    • OMG! I love this!! That EXACT Thing happened to us – and we were so tired and we missed the shuttle as a result of her going in front of us!! We were so mad – and I have mentioned this to other people and the forklift lifting obese people into the shuttle is a common problem at Disney!! LOL Who knew??

      Reply
    • How do you know she wasn’t handicapped? Did you ask? She may have a condition that prevents her from walking much (many conditions can cause this) and if you can’t walk or exercise how do you expect to be thin?

      Reply
      • No Angie I didn’t stop a stranger and ask her about her life…..

      • No, “Lady” Googoogaga, you didn’t ask people about their lives, you just took photographs of them to post on your wordpress blog where you mocked them. You aren’t a humorist. You’re just mean spirited which anyone with little compassion or kindness can be. Congratulations.

      • Let me guess @disappointed – you drink a lot of “diet” soda and wear clothes and accessories with Mickey Mouse on them…..

  6. Thanks for reminding me of what I haven’t been missing.

    Reply
  7. My son and I were at Disney World at the same time you were and I share many of your observations. I happened upon your blog by googling “obese people in scooters at disney world” to see if it was just me or if other people were as astounded as I was by the scene. I live on the west coast in a city where obesity isn’t the epidemic it is in other parts of our country, so I was curious if this was just how the rest of America is, or if it was unique to Disney World. I’ve never seen anything like it! My son said it reminded him of the world in the movie Wall-E where people were too fat to walk and everyone rode in scooters.

    Reply
  8. OMG the comment above mine! Gotta love that “obese people in scooters” lead the commenter to your blog. Ha.
    And amen to this entire post.
    I swore i would never go again. And now I have Ava. Can you take her????

    Reply
  9. I’m late to the comments here….but OMG the comments AND the blogpost are hilarious stuff!! We were there on Mother’s Day weekend and I had exactly the same observations as you about all of it….the pregnant woman, huge people running over me with their carts, enormous kids in strollers….Ridiculous!! I really am sorry to say it, but I really do think these non-handicapped people are doing this simply to avoid waiting in line at rides!! Shame on them! I would like to say that I dragged around my four year old, very autistic child without a stroller and without carrying him AT ALL….thank you very much!! C’mon, people, BUCK UP and stop raising future generations of ridiculously LAZY individuals!!!!
    *rant over* Thanks for listening and for your wonderful and hilarious blog!!!

    Reply
  10. Well, I guess I will have to get T-shirts made that say “I have Lupus & RA but not because I am overweight” in case I have to rent a scooter while I am at Disney World so I will not be judged. Geesh. I try to walk everyday and my rheumatologist said even if I weighed 80 lbs I would still have the same health issues. I have learned many people have invisible illnesses. Otherwise, hilarious blog!

    Reply
  11. I came across your blog site by links that are popping up around the Disney fan pages. Most people seem to think you must have some sort of eating issue to be so obsessed over fat people, lazy kids and large sodas. LOL. I’m sure you paid a lot of money for your Disney vacation so hopefully you were able to relax and enjoy your time there with your kids. The strollers don’t bother me unless I get run over by them. We took our kids 2 years ago during a slower time of year and we have been back 5 times since. There is magic everywhere for young and old if you take the time to look for it.

    Reply
  12. Re: woman in picture number three….maybe her clothes fit when she left for Disney, but after eating and drinking all the food that is bigger than your head, her clothes got a little tight:)

    Reply
  13. Well, lets take each observation you make point by point shall we?

    1-Crying children DO bother people, but, since they are NOT THEIR OWN CHILD, we do nothing about it. In addition, how many things did your parents drag you to do that you THOUGHT you hated, but ended up liking? I’ve just gotten back from the parks and honestly, you should be focused on your own fun.

    2-Lets see, you’re in the heat, walking and standing around all day, many times in the sun. Some rides even get your adrenaline pumping which increases calorie burn. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

    3-Again, why do you care how happy they are and they are sharing a kiss? Are kisses not allowed in front of children?

    4-You went to Walt Disney World. Walt Disney himself is quoted with saying “It all started with a mouse.” So yes, people of all ages enjoy the house the mouse built.

    5-So what.

    6-Its a theme park designed for kids. You want a vacation without strollers, go to an adults only resort in the Caribbean.

    7-Vacations tend to make people happy, except you…clearly.

    8-If you spent over 1k on a vacation, would you cancel it for a broken leg? Actually, maybe moving around and returning to normal activity would be good. I doubt you are a doctor.

    9-Welcome to outside your house, where people touch things. (BTW the glasses are cleaned)

    10-Its called a souvenir.

    So to sum up, stay out of other people’s vacation unless you have something nice to say. Seriously, if you spent as much time on your own WDW vacation rather that everybody else’s, you would have had a great time.

    Reply
    • To sum it up – stay out of other people’s blogs if you aren’t intelligent enough to understand sarcasm.

      Also if you think that refillable soda is the necessary solution to “being outside in the sun and where rides even get your adrenaline pumping which increases calorie burn” then that is possibly one of the most hilarious comments I have received….
      Thanks!!!

      Reply
  14. Pingback: An explanation of this blog | Lady Goo Goo Gaga

  15. I am a bit of a Disney fan, but preach on, sister! The tweens in strollers bug the hell out of me. Even worse is when they’re being pushed around in the stroller while looking at their iPhone or DS. Seriously! You are at the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH and you need extra entertainment? Look over there, it’s Aladdin, and there’s Pluto! No, better play some Angry Birds to pass the time between rides. And before any of these crazy people who leave stupid comments here judge me, know that I have three kids and none of them have ridden in a stroller at Disney or any other place since they were three years old. Yes people, it can be done, children can walk. That’s what legs are for! What would their classmates in sixth grade say if they saw their friend riding in a freaking baby stroller?!?? This is what’s wrong with America today!

    Thanks for your blog, it’s hilarious!

    Reply
  16. Pingback: Dear Elf Creators, | Lady Goo Goo Gaga

  17. Im 15 and went to Disneyworld last summer with my mom and siblings. One thing that really annoyed me on the trip was being constantly told to act my age and i was expected to find all the rides and help everyone get through the park. my mom would get annoyed over the littlest things. My little brother was doing the Phineas and Ferb secret agent mission and it was taking us an extremely long time to find the items we were looking for. Then my mom started yelling at me randomly to walk up front and look for stuff. it became more of a chore than a game. When i nicely told my little brother that we can try it again tomorrow and he said okay she started yelling about how i was trying to make him cry even though he said himself that he was tired . I literally would look forward to leaving the park and getting back to the hotel room. I also noticed other parents were giving their teenagers a hard . At Epcot when my mom told me to walk up front their was this other girl who was a little older than me(16) whos dad was screaming and cursing at her because she didn’t hold their place in line. We both were walking up front away from our parents and had a nice conversation. We are going again this year so hopefully it will be better than last time.

    Reply
  18. hope u know its illegal to publish pictures of minors anywhere w/o written consent of parents/guardians

    Reply

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