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My mother responds…..


It is my mother’s birthday this week – so as a special birthday homage – I am giving her a chance to respond to my repeated references to the obsession with Days of our Lives different “parenting style,” that she had back in the good old 1970’s.

I have tried to explain to her many times that in this day and age, if I got caught lying around watching back to back soap operas, someone would surely call the authorities and have me hauled away to the mental institution, but she thinks I am crazy.

She constantly says things like “Lady, really, why don’t you just take a nap….you run yourself ragged.” or “Why don’t you just lay on the couch and read your book.”

I usually just stare at her like she is speaking a foreign language.

After I referenced the fact that she watched Another World instead of addressing the fact that my gym teacher made me take a shower in elementary school - she decided to speak up.

She sent the following letter:

Thanks Mom! Happy birthday!!

Fwd: LadyGooGooGaga
   
-------------------------

Dear Lady,

As your mother, I do feel badly for you, your new "motherhood" is
very disturbing and completely foreign to me,  
Yes, you are resilient, and that's because you were raised (not
"parented") to become self-reliant, independent thinking people,
capable of solving your own problems.  If you or your brother ever bothered me on the beach, while I was reading, to
complain of someone throwing sand, cranberries or not sharing, you were
punished twice, once for the inappropriate behavior, and secondly for being a tattle
tale.     

As for the gym teacher, I still don't see what the big problem is.  Seriously, do you people really expect her to
walk through a locker room of 25 half-naked girls with a blindfold on so she
could trip over the balance beam and crack her head open?

Then there's the issue of teachers and/or principals being
"mean".  Call me old-fashioned,
but I usually figured that if that were the case, it was most likely that YOU
DID SOMETHING WRONG.   I also believed
that the squeaky wheel didn't always get the oil.  Sometimes, if a parent consistently tortures
the teachers by reporting every little injustice their perfect angels had supposedly
suffered, the teacher might harbor a little resentment toward the child, which
would obviously not be good when they filled out their ten page report cards.

"Petition Moms"...really??? 
The mothers of my day were far too busy working part-time, volunteering
for local charities, managing political campaigns, writing editorials, and
getting elected to public office ourselves, almost always with our darling
children in tow.

You were all thrilled to be eating donuts, home-made Italian cookies and sheet
pizza at headquarters on Election Day, after you'd spent the previous month
running up and down the streets sticking political flyers in people's
doors.  I suppose that would be kind of
like a "play date", right?

At the end of the day, I would love to be watching a soap opera, Jeopardy or
CNN, as I was folding a mountain of laundry, and could smell our delicious
(preservative and hormone free) dinner simmering away in the kitchen.  I did have to glance out the window every now
and then, as you and your brother were happily playing with the dozen or so
other neighborhood children OUTSIDE BY YOURSELVES.  It was a wonderful life, and I wouldn't trade
it for the world.

So, Lady, I'm proud of you.  Keep up the
good work and I'll see you on Election Day!

love,

Mother Gaga
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6 responses »

  1. Nice post. Really enjoyed it. :)

    Reply
  2. Patricia Kennedy

    Good for you Mother Gaga. Tell it like it is!!!!

    Reply
  3. Very sweet. Now I know where lady goo goo gaga’s soft side comes from. Happy Birthday Mother Gaga!

    Reply
  4. Well said Mama Gaga.

    Reply
  5. That is n around the world double snap Mama Gaga

    Reply
  6. Apparently, you get your sarcasm AND beyond clever wit from your mama!!! Loved this.

    Reply

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