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What I learned….


In February of 2011 I began this little anonymous blog, as a way to vent and tell stories of my experience as a mother.

I have so loved having you all read, comment, laugh and commiserate. I look forward to much more blogging in 2012 and thank you all for your support!!

2011 was a good year for me.  I finally started to feel like I could think about doing something for myself – something besides wiping a butt or emptying a dishwasher.  (Like start a blog!!)

If I had to pick one word for 2011 it would be “blog,”  because in the beginning of the year I didn’t even really know what a blog was, and now I have my mom blog and I also have a beauty blog, and blogging has become a huge part of my life!

If I had to pick one word for 2012 it will be “Tweet.”  From what I understand this is something I am supposed to be doing already, but as usual I am behind the eight-ball with technology – so I am going to figure it out and become a tweet-aholic.

Today I want to just review the year for those of you who might have missed some important stories….with the
TOP TEN THINGS I LEARNED THIS YEAR…..(and one for good luck)

#1 – In February I started this blog and learned about other cultures at a Chinese child’s birthday party. This is where I was told to take off my shoes and wear the mother’s filthy slippers throughout the party.

#2 – In March, I came to the realization that my neighbor “Fran Drescher” is an utterly repulsive idiot.  I am so thankful that she moved across the country so I no longer have to be subjected to her filth or her children’s theater productions.

#3 – In April, I was an idiot and drove 19 hours in the car to Georgia, I learned that this is not necessarily a good idea.  As if it’s not bad enough being stuck in a vehicle for long periods of time,  I definitely learned that when one gets out of the car for short breaks, the Cracker Barrel is not the place to go.

#4 – In May, in honor of Mother’s Day I reviewed the ways “This is not my mother’s motherhood.”  Most of this list revolves around the fact that modern-day motherhood is wretched and torturous and my mother enjoyed leisure time watching the Days of Our Lives program and smoking cigarettes.

#5 – In June, school ended so I no longer had to look at or listen to Steven Keaton at the bus stop, and I figured out a way for my son to get the final revenge of the school year.  This school – year I learned that I must wear sunglasses rain or shine to avoid eye contact with any and all humans at said bus stop.

Imagine waking up every morning and having to watch this guy pretend he's going to take the bus to kindergarten.

#6 – In July, I learned that Bingo is very annoying, I will never win and it is not good for my mental health. If I continue to attend the yearly beach bingo I could possibly flip tables like Theresa Guidice.

Teresa Guidice flipping a table

#7 – In August, I learned that too much sun coupled with late nights spent watching Spongebob while his mother drinks wine, can actually turn a 5-year-old into the devil.  I got a lot of comments on this one – I think you all could relate to this story – especially when everyone on the beach clapped when we left….

#8 – In September, I was provoked by a moron in my “Moms Club” who decided to tell her 2-year-old there’s no such thing as Santa.  I learned that there is a level of horrible parenting that I was not aware of – Oooohh how I hate that woman and her husband.  In 2012 – stay tuned for more idiotic requests and questions from people who apparently can’t solve simple matters without sending out a mass email to 800 mothers.

#9 – In October, I escaped from Hell on Earth Connecticut and I learned it is not necessarily all it’s cracked up to be.  Although we had a great trip – it did take us until about Halloween to recover from the trip – and that was about the time that we had a storm that destroyed Connecticut life as we knew it.

#10 – In November, my hair turned into a Brillo pad and I learned how to survive without power for 10 days!!!!!  It took us until last week to recover from this fucking piece of shit storm and the piece of shit utilities company that we have here in lovely Connecticut.

This is me waiting for my husband to hook up the generator.....

#11  – In December, I learned that some people in this household do not value Christmas traditions and schedules as much as I do…..and Mr. Gaga asked that I also say I learned that he is funnier than me……(which of course is not true.)

What's the big deal? Why are you crying? Are you crying about coming home to raw chicken on the counter and a messy house or is it because I am an idiot?

Happy New Year!! Please start off the new year in a positive direction and vote for me was one of the Top Mommy Blogs!! XOXOXO LADY GOO GOO GAGA

Linking to pour your heart out!!

18 responses »

  1. Agreed, you need to be on Twitter. I didn’t know a damn thing about blogs before I started mine either. Where is your beauty blog or do you keep them separate for privacy reasons?

    Reply
  2. That is an awesome way to review your blog over the past year. And funny too. I can’t believe you made it for 10 days without power. The last time that the power went off I went to the mall. And I have a feeling they would not have let me stay for 10 days. Happy new year! When you get on twitter, follow me @stressandhealth Looking forward to seeing you there.

    Reply
  3. FABULOUS, i learned a lot about you but mostly i learned that you are FUNNY!! love this, absolutely love it!!

    i am so glad that you stopped by, i always reply to comments via email but i also like to follow people who comment on my blog back to their blog to leave a little comment love in return. what a fantastic way to meet new people. i will be back!!

    Happy New Year!!

    Reply
  4. These are great! A good way to start the year :)

    P.S. Come check out our first giveaway of a PMD

    Reply
  5. I don’t know anything about blogs still. And I can’t do twitter. For some reason, I’m just rebelling against it.

    Reply
  6. I thought you’d been blogging for longer! So glad to have gotten to know you!

    Now, go tweet. ;)

    Reply
  7. Yeah – I thought you had been blogging longer too. I love your list – and have read most of them. I must admit… Mr. G is pretty funny. I remember that post. :) When you are on twitter – follow me too -alsfm. Plus – my post is all about the online ettiquette I don’t know. (or can’t spell).

    Reply
  8. I absolutely loved the Santa-flip-off picture, and I wanted to BRAIN Mr. Gaga with his own bloody Christmas tree. Happy 2012! I really enjoy your blog, and I hope Santa doesn’t have to just sharpen his stakes for your husband’s stocking next year.

    Reply
  9. Days of our Lives and smokes! LOL!!! I SO watched Days when I was little. Great year for you! Thanks for coming by today and commenting. Looking forward to reading more of your blog.

    Reply
  10. Hmm..tweeting scares me. Between blogs, FB and Pinterest I don’t know if I can take another electronic form of communication…it may be the final step to becoming a Borg…

    Happy New Year!!

    Reply
  11. #6- Pretty much flip tables if my coffee’s not hot. I IS A DIVA :)

    Reply
  12. Loved reading your recap. And knowing that I read every single post – and liked it. ;)
    Happy New Year to you and yours!
    Should I know about this beauty blog you speak of? DM me!

    Reply
  13. Thank you for stopping by and visiting my blog :) I am now your newest networked blog follower. I love your blogs name and am excited to be following :)

    Reply
  14. Why didn’t we get together during the “fucking piece of shit storm and the piece of shit utilities company that we have here in lovely Connecticut”?? I am so on the same page.

    Great list. You crack me up.

    Reply

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