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Even our Snowmen are Guidos


I am back – hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!

The dust is settling here and I am coming out of an antipasto-induced coma and assessing how best to  return things I don’t like,

 throw the Nerf Guns in the garbage without the kids noticing, 

put things away.

I have spent a good part of the past two months complaining about how filthy my house is, how I step on little tiny LEGO pieces all over my house, and how I have to clean everything myself because my husband is too busy tailgating

Somehow – nobody cares.

None of you have offered to clean for me.

Nobody sent a cleaning service over.

Sigh.

Now coupled with my usual troubles of keeping a semi-clean house – I have to deal with scraps of wrapping paper, MORE toys everywhere, and the tree.

Well – somebody finally came to my rescue!!!  Just in time for pine needle season!!

Bissell.

I love you Bissell.

They sent me the BISSELL Perfect Sweep Turbo to help me pick up LEGOS!!! and anything else that needs a quick sweep. 

A major part of my problem is that I don’t want to go to the closet and get out my huge vacuum, so instead I just watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills surrounded by filth.

But now I have this Perfect Sweep Turbo- I have no excuse not to use it – this is like a modern-day dustbuster.

Mr. Gaga always says we need a dustbuster – now we just grab it from the porch and vacuum everything up – no plugging in.  And it is great at picking up those little annoying LEGOS! 

With the Perfect Sweep Turbo you can see exactly what you’re sweeping up and can easily pull it out of the container.  I mean it when I tell you –  I LOVE THIS PRODUCT. (Which you all probably already have because you are good at housekeeping.)

And now – as I tried to get organized and put things away – I got around to opening Michael’s backpack which was jam-packed with papers that I hadn’t had time to look at.

In the pile was a book that he had been working on throughout December at school.  This project entailed him writing and illustrating a book about a snowman.

When I was growing up I just wanted to listen to Cyndi Lauper or Madonna in the car and my parents would be listening to Imus or the WDRC 106.9 the Oldies station.

Mr. Gaga and I are NOT like that. WE ARE VERY COOL HIP PARENTS.  We listen to “top 40″ and pop music and we know who Nicki Minaj is and are known to have dance parties with the kids.  We pretty much listen to everything – except gangsta rap.

So of course, Michael would think nothing of creating a story about a snowman that comes to life and starts to sing and dance.  I’m also sure it would seem perfectly logical for him to sing “I’m Sexy and I Know it.”

This is Michael's snowman on his way home from the Shish Lounge in West Hartford.....

So he was quite taken aback when his teacher made him change his story – because “That is not an appropriate word for a first-grader.”

He changed it to "I'm Coldy and I know it...."

Ummm….does that also mean it’s not appropriate for my kids to rip their clothes off and dance to that song in their underwear, gyrating their hips like they are Chippendales dancers?

Darn it.

I guess I will have to add to my better parenting New Year’s Resolution list – #43 – NO STRIP SHOWS TO “I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT.”

Linking to http://www.thingicantsay.com

PLEASE CLICK ON THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR ME AS THE FUNNIEST MOM EVER!!!  ALTHOUGH MY CHILDREN LISTEN TO INAPPROPRIATE LYRICS, AT LEAST I’M FUNNY……..

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21 responses »

  1. I hate legos. There, I said it.

    Reply
  2. Legos rank up there with Barbie shoes!

    Maybe I’m stuck on stupid but I don’t understand what’s wrong with “I’m cold and I know it”… Seems to me that someones teacher needs to get with times and start to WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE!

    Reply
  3. I thought it was hysterical. Didn’t find anything wrong with ‘I’m coldy and i know it”. Then again, I’m the mother who took her five year old daughter to see Dirty Dancing with her older cousins (Mr Gaga included).

    Reply
  4. Have you seen that video for I’m Sexy? It’s crazy funny…maybe not for a first grader but you would LAUGH. It’s hysterical!

    Gosh, I sent you Maid Service for the month of December. Did they not show up?

    Reply
    • Yes we love it!! And the kids watched them on the MTV music awards and they stripped down to speedos with smiley faces on them……they think it’s hysterical.
      No….no cleaning service ……maybe they will come today?

      Reply
  5. hehehe… ok I couldn’t quit giggling! Hey you can come clean my house for me :) You and your new mighty bissel!

    Reply
  6. I really wish someone would send ME a maid. This place is a disaster.

    Reply
  7. Whoever is sending out cleaning services….please send me one, too!

    Very funny post!

    Reply
  8. When someone volunteers to clean your house, can you please send them down to NJ to clear off my tree & bring it to the curb? Pretty please?

    I’m Lazy & I Know It….

    Reply
  9. OH MY GOODNESS!!! You are an absolute hoot!! I love your sense of humor. I’m a self-professed HIP mama too. I’m thinking we should be friends. I found your delightful blog via a hop…not even sure which one…and I’m glad I did. I’m your newest follower! Pop by and say Hi…I’d love it! Happy New Year!

    Reply
  10. OK…first off…i also am still recovering from the cured-meat coma you spoke of!
    Second of all, I am ordering my Bissel pronto since for the last 3 days I have chosen to wear thick socks around the house instead of going barefoot as usual, because I was getting grossed out by the small dirt particles sticking to the bottom of my feet! (why vacuum when you can wear the new socks you got for xmas!)
    …and finally, Sheila….theres nothing wrong with Dirty Dancing as long as you lie when your child asks what happened to Penny

    Reply
  11. HaHaHa, that is hilarious! I am a kindergarten teacher and I taught first grade too and even if we make kids change things like that they secretly make our day. Although I don’t think it’s that bad since it is a song lyric and that’s all he meant by it. Following you from the blog hop.

    Reply
  12. Great blog! I’ve had fun reading through your posts. You are seriously funny. I wish I could be funny when I write (bc I’m really half decent funny-wise in person) but the keyboard apparently sucks it all up.

    I’m stopping by from the hop and am a new facebook (via personal account) and rss follower. Would love it if you’d visit my Facebook page
    http://www.facebook.com/myBabySleepGuide

    blog rss
    http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/

    Thanks!
    Rachel

    Reply
  13. I hate cleaning house so I’ll say yes to anyone/anything that will do it for me.

    Reply
  14. I’m your newest follower from Super Stalker Sunday, and this is hilarious! I think it’s interesting what teachers choose to censor. My kids are still a little too young for Legos… I am dreading the day.

    Reply
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