So – I signed up a while ago to a service in town – where moms could receive emails regarding pertinent information about children, parenting etc. Some reasonable uses of the service would be say – “Does anyone know the best pediatric dentist in town?” or “Where is a good place to go for piano lessons?” or “Has anyone ever been to the indoor water park in Waterbury?”
Many people for one reason or another ask inappropriate questions and what I consider inappropriate requests to a community of unknown mothers in town. The constant stream of ridiculous emails is enough to send you off the deep end – see below for the latest offense this week (and for those of you who still think I make this stuff up – this is word-for-word!!:
> You all have been great in giving advice in the past that I thought I’d
run something by you. What do you tell a 2-yr old about Santa? I would like for him to believe in Santa but my husband says that there’s no reason for him to. That he should know that we buy his gifts because we love him. Has anyone else made the decision to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real? What did you say and what was the outcome?
Also…does anyone know where I can get K-Cups (for a Keurig coffee maker)
for a cheaper price? At the grocery store they’re $8.99 for
a box of 12 and I was informed today that they’re going up.
Thanks in advance! You all are awesome! Love, Jenny
Hi Jenny – Thanks for calling us all awesome!!
You know who is not awesome?
Just so you know – it’s September!! And Christmas is not really top on everyone’s to-do list but since you asked……
Many families were grappling last week with remembering the loss of loved ones on September 11th, and probably
thinking about one day explaining this horrible day to their children.
In this economy, I know many families who are struggling with telling their kids that they might not have any presents at Christmas because their mom or dad (or both) have lost their job.
Nationwide – parents will be figuring out where Christmas will be this year because their home was washed away in a flood or hurricane or lost in a foreclosure.
But your husband is right!!
You should totally shower your 2-year-old child with
“gifts of love” and then tell him they are all from you!!
We live in a nation that at the 10-year anniversary of September 11, 2001 is still at war, close to 10 percent of our nation is unemployed, millions don’t have access to healthcare while facing deadly incurable diseases like cancer and AIDS, 1 out of 110 children are diagnosed with autism and global warming is destroying or ending people’s lives all over the world.
That being said – I can totally see why what little happiness your child might have before facing the harsh
realities of adulthood, should be ripped away from him – all so he can properly thank your husband for the $200 of Little Tykes crap he bought at the Toys R’ Us.
I mean really – why should Santa get all of the credit?
And by the way your husband sounds like a real peach! Wherever did you find him? It’s so rare to find a good man who is not an ego-maniac!! Lucky!!
He also sounds super-intelligent and super in-touch with childhood development. Does he have a PhD in this subject?
I know that he is so looking forward to the day when he can announce to a group of people that he has chosen to
ruin his child’s life tell his child that there is no such thing as Santa – so that everyone knows that he is “above” such silly rituals.
Oops – small problem – Jenny! Your
douche-bag super-awesome hubby – failed to read the chapter in his PhD textbook that discussed the fact that 2 -year- olds…..(and I quote from a real medical textbook on childhood development)
pg. 201- ”Don’t give two flying fucks who gave them the Little Tykes crap.”
They don’t even get the concept of receiving a gift yet – so when you have this all-important convo to break the bad news…..guess what?
You will have the same convo next Christmas when he’s three – and then probably again when he’s four.
He will not even remember your “love gifts” – let alone who gave them to him.
Oh – and Jenny – one more thing – when you have this sit-down – could you do us a favor and let him know that you 2 are the only ass-hats that are doing this?
The rest of us quite enjoy lying to our kids and letting them experience little emotions called “joy” and “wonderment” and don’t need you and your tortured child ruining it.
Thanks!! That would be super-awesome!
In closing – I see you had a little question about coffee cups! Who doesn’t right? LOL!
Well – I notice that you sent your email via Blackberry – which means that you’re savvy enough to use modern technology – but what you might not realize is that there is this little thing called a newspaper.
Inside it – usually once a week – you will find something called a circular! Each store actually lists their sale items using photos as well as extra-large bold text that will state the sale price – like
It is super-easy to read and very user-friendly – maybe even more so than your Blackberry!
If you feel like you still cannot find a good price for your Keurig coffee cups – don’t hesitate to shoot us another email. We will all stop what we are doing (you know because we are all stupid morons that believe in Santa) and find the best price for your coffee!!
Hope this helps!
Your friend – LADY GOO GOO GAGA
PS – I sent a copy of your email to Santa – and this was his reply – ( he asked that I pass it along to you)
>Do you see how passionate I am about the happiness and welfare of children???? You should click this banner for me – just sayin…..
ALSO – IF YOU LIKE THIS -PLEASE SHARE ON FACEBOOK BY CLICKING THE SHARE BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND HIT FACEBOOK – LET’S GET THE WORD OUT THAT IT IS NOT OK TO TORTURE TWO-YEAR OLDS!!!!!!
Linking to Pour your Heart Out