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Life Lesson #1 – Superman Can’t Really Fly


This week continued to be as wretched as expected.  In preparing for the hurricane we came home and attempted to pick everything up in our finished basement and either throw it out or put it up on a high shelf.   We then filled up our bathtub with water? Then we bought a bunch of water and some food (but not too much since we would probably lose power) just enough to make sauce and meatballs.  We made the meatballs at night and went to bed.

The storm was supposed to start at around midnight and we figured we would be out of power and flooded when we woke up.  When I woke up at like 6:30 am I looked out the window and saw just a rainy day and we still had power. 

I ran downstairs…”Should I start the sauce now  – so if we lose power we can just heat it up on the grill?” I said frantically opening cans of tomatoes.

“Yes – Yes.” my husband replied matter-of-factly.

We later laughed at this “hurricane-preparedness” plan that was entirely focused on “sunday dinner.”  Which by the way we ate in full light and didn’t have a drop of water in the basement – thank goodness.

A lot of people had to clean up their yards after the hurricane - but we just had to eat a lot of macaroni....

When that was all done with – I was home 3 days earlier than I would normally have left the beach.   I felt obligated to tend to all the miscellaneous tasks and errands that I was supposed to do over the summer and never did. 

Off I went in my “mom car” to:

1 – BJ’s for snacks, drinks, cereal, etc.for the kids for school

2 – “Big Y” which is my local grocery store for basic food and supplies. Since my husband is basically home alone a lot while we are at the beach, he lets the food situation get down to baking soda, a box of brownies and olive oil.

3 – Post office to mail out bills, paperwork for sports, health forms,etc.   A great deal of this stuff was late and covered with sunscreen and/or fluff.

4 – The cleaners to get my husband’s shirts cleaned for work that have been in a filthy pile in his closet since the end of June…you know because he doesn’t know how to get to the cleaners.

5 – Walgreens for an additional medication for my sinus infection.  Last week I mentioned we were all sick.  Before the hurricane as part of my hurricane-preparedness plan I went to the clinic to get an antibiotic to clear up my ever-worsening condition.  Yeah that didn’t work.

6- Modell’s for soccer cleats and socks for the soccer season for Michael that I just sent my payment for(#3) and apparently starts this week.

I actually managed to get this all done with minimal melting down of children and in a somewhat efficient manner.  I was annoyed that I wasted a gorgeous day in the car, but I was happy to get everything done and we were in the home stretch on the way to our house.  I was tired and they were tired and we were all tired of buckling and unbuckling their seatbelts. 

We were almost home.

“Mama, Mama – open our windows!”

I mindlessly obeyed and didn’t realize that they were flying their superheros in the wind so their capes could fly.

I found out soon enough when I heard shrieks of despair and looked back to see Sam’s face drawn and pale looking at his empty hand in shock.

“His Superman flew away!” Michael said with horror. “Go back! Go back!” he screamed hysterically.

“Too bad you guys – I always tell you not to stick anything out the window.”  I instinctively knew this was a good way for them to learn a lesson, but I felt a little heartbroken for Sam.

He had started really crying and I genuinely felt bad. If it was any other toy…but it was Sam’s Superman.

Sam has been playing “guys” since a very young age.  He could be seen clutching a Batman or Superman toy from a very early age wherever he went.  Everyone from store clerks to friends and family has at one point helped us find a lost “guy” in various bizarre places.  We have been fairly successful in our retrieval rate up until now.  

Wouldn’t it be so mean of me to not even try to get it?

I didn’t have high hopes in the middle of 4 lanes of traffic on RT 44 during rush hour traffic, but I turned around.

I had to do a k-turn on a side street and then wait at a light.  We were all quiet anxiously awaiting what we would find when we turned.

Each second that ticked by, I knew was critical to the possibility of Superman’s safe return home. 

The light finally turned.

I drove slowly and I saw him to our left, right in the middle of the 4 lanes of the traffic resting perfectly so that as each car whizzed by he remained magically untouched.

“There he is! ” the kids exclaimed.

Now I had to wait at another light, then turn around again, then wait at another light then head back.  As we drove by him the second time – I couldn’t believe he was still ok.

I pulled over on a side street and ran out of the car.  I stared into the road thinking about how I was going to navigate this very dangerous task.

The pink "x" shows where Superman was - and you can see me on the side of the road with the crazy hair.....

As I waited for an opportunity, I saw a huge garbage truck coming and I knew it was over.

I was right – the truck came barreling down the road and Superman was obliterated. 

A few big pieces sprayed up from under the massive tires of the truck and for one idiotic second I actually thought – “Well – maybe I could glue it.”

I ran out and collected all the pieces I could grab in a split second and ran back to the safety of the curb.  I went back to the car – and looked in the back seat at two hopeful faces that actually believed that, like Superman, I could save the day.

I poured the pieces into Sam’s hand.  Tears began again.

“Sorry guys – I tried.”

I got into the front and turned the car around AGAIN and a sudden dinging chime started, coupled with a “check engine” light and another signal that apparently meant “Run for your life – your car is going to blow up.”

The car part of this story will complete the rest of this wretched day which I will save for my next post…..

IN THE MEANTIME I HAVE BEEN NOMINATED AS A FUNNY MOM BLOG FOR PARENTS MAGAZINE!!

 PLEASE PLEASE VOTE FOR LADY GOO GOO GAGA BY CLICKING THE LINK BELOW – THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

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15 responses »

  1. YOU are the super hero! Seriously. I would have left Superman where he was.
    Hilarious.
    Have voted for you.
    xo

    Reply
  2. this brought back memories not quite the same but I do recall my twins thowing their bottles at the back of my head one day when they were finished…I opened the window threw the bottles out and said they are gone and never to be found again that was the end of the bottles
    You are a much nicer mom than I was at that moment

    Reply
  3. I just spent over an hour reading your blog from the beginning and I don’t think I have laughed so much in a long time. I will definitely be back.

    Reply
  4. Seriously? He can’t fly? Superman is bullshit. You, however, are not. High five for this stuff.

    Reply
  5. Ooooh, that poor guy. I know that feeling – the “teach them a lesson” versus “this is a time to show them that mommy can fix a heartbreak” feeling.

    I’m a new follower and good luck with the Parent mag – how do people find out about this stuff?

    Reply
  6. Oh wow! I’m so impressed that you went back! Sorry about his guy, though.

    Reply
  7. AWWWWW! LOL…It’s not funny, but reminds me of when I was a tot and threw my shoe out of the car window. (Not sure what my intentions were.) MY Mom didn’t go back to retrieve my shoe. This could explain my bizarre love of shoes.

    Glad the hurricane didn’t hammer you guys. And you can never eat enough pasta. ;)

    Thanks for linking up…you’re hilarious, I enjoyed reading you!

    Reply
  8. Thanks for visiting…I am following you back! We recently had a paci out the window incident, and it was a too bad so sad situation. I am feeling your pain!

    Have a great weekend.

    Thea

    Reply
  9. Hi, stopping by from the blog hop and now a new follower of your blog thru RSS Reader and on Facebook. I would love a follow back on both of these also. I did not see GFC so if I missed it please let me know and I will come back and follow on that also. Thanks for your help and have a wonderful weekend.

    Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

    Reply
  10. Pingback: Terrified by the Dashboard Lights « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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