1 – My children will independently solve all their problems and fights. They will independently share the Ipad, the Leapster and all other toys and devices that we only have one of.
2 – My kids’ teachers will independently teach their classes. When I say independently I mean with help from para-professionals and student teachers; not ME or any other mother who comes along, that would otherwise be home scrapbooking or watching “The View,” but is now magically qualified to teach reading.
3 – My children will independently be able to walk to and wait for the bus, (while I sleep.)
4 – Max and Ruby will no longer have to live independently. (My husband wanted me to mention this, because he has a strange obsession about a children’s show that features bunnies with no parents.)
5 – Other moms and dads will look at me, size me up, and independently realize that I don’t want to talk to them or their kid.
6 – Nobody will ever say they wet the bed or they are thirsty at 6 am. I will open my eyes when I am independently ready to wake up.
7 – My boys will remain independent for a long time (maybe until they are 30) so there won’t be any annoying, bitchy girlfriends ruining everything.
8 – The fat cells in my stomach and thighs will independently melt away, even if I continue to eat Carvel ice cream cake and popcorn on a regular basis.
9 – My kids will independently find a spot for every little Lego, Bakugan card and itty-bitty G.I. Joe rifle in their room, and these pieces will be in said spot every night before bed.
10 – My children’s private parts will independently shoot urine into the designated toilet, without misfires on the wall, floor or hand towel.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! PLEASE CLICK ON THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR LADY GOO GOO GAGA!!!!