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10 Things I Wish For Independence Day


1 – My children will independently solve all their problems and fights.  They will independently share the Ipad, the Leapster and all other toys and devices that we only have one of.

2 – My kids’ teachers will independently teach their classes.  When I say independently I mean with help from para-professionals and student teachers; not ME or any other mother who comes along, that would otherwise be home scrapbooking or watching “The View,” but is now magically qualified to teach reading.

 3 – My children will independently be able to walk to and wait for the bus, (while I sleep.)

4 – Max and Ruby will no longer have to live independently. (My husband wanted me to mention this, because he has a strange obsession about a children’s show that features bunnies with no parents.)

5 – Other moms and dads will look at me, size me up, and independently realize that I don’t want to talk to them or their kid.

6 – Nobody will ever say they wet the bed or they are thirsty at 6 am.  I will open my eyes when I am independently ready to wake up.

7 – My boys will remain independent for a long time (maybe until they are 30) so there won’t be any annoying, bitchy girlfriends ruining everything.

8 – The fat cells in my stomach and thighs will independently melt away, even if  I continue to eat Carvel ice cream cake and popcorn on a regular basis.

9 – My kids will independently find a spot for every little Lego, Bakugan card and itty-bitty G.I. Joe rifle in their room, and these pieces will be in said spot every night before bed.

10 – My children’s private parts will independently shoot urine into the designated toilet, without misfires on the wall, floor or hand towel.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! PLEASE CLICK ON THE BANNER BELOW TO VOTE FOR LADY GOO GOO GAGA!!!!

 

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17 responses »

  1. Great List of Independent Things! I agree, it’s always been odd to me that Max and Ruby have no visible parents.

    Reply
  2. I like each one better than the last! Except the one about the “bitchy girlfriends ruining everything made me laugh out loud.”

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  3. Love this one (especially the Max and Ruby part). If only these things would happen…

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  4. I love the way you go back in forth about your independence and your children’s as it’s all tied together :) It makes me think also of dependence and how both my children and I are so dependent on many things! It’s a tough pull back and forth between independence and dependence during childhood and motherhood.

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  5. I too wish that people would realize that I don’t really want to talk to them. =)

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  6. Great list! I hope your list works out better for you than mine has because I have yet to become independently wealthy.

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  7. This list is perfect. And you find out about Max and Ruby’s folks…keep us posted would ya?

    xo
    babymama

    Reply
  8. What a fun take on an Independence Day post…goodness knows I can relate to a handful of those and wish for the same. And would someone make sure those poor bunnies have Mamas?! (Why do kidlet movies & shows always have parentless animated stars?) I practically begged for some independent (or the old days of parallel) play today…it didn’t take more than nineteen seconds for someone to start yelling. Maybe the stars are all misaligned or something! Wishing for a better tomorrow and hope the stars are all aligned in your neck of the woods! :>

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  9. As the mother of two independent 20-somethings, I miss those dependent days…Visiting from Mama Kat’s!

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  10. These should all be made into laws. And yes, I’m with your husband: where are Max and Rubby’s parents? How old is Rubby? Is she old enough to be raising Max by herself?

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  11. I LOVE #4. Those kids parents should be ashamed….where ever the hell they are,

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  12. Hahaha! This was brilliant!

    I’d like my kids to independently start mixing my drinks for me at 5pm each night.

    Reply
  13. Enjoy your independence day! its a great list.

    Reply

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