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Wardrobe Malfunction


My kids just went to NY with their father to visit with my in-laws without me.  The plan was for my in-laws to take them to a family party while my husband went to the Mets game.  I did all the packing of course, with clear guidelines about what clothing was to be worn to the party. 

When they came home this morning the party clothes were in the bag, clean as a whistle, untouched.  I asked the kids what they wore to the party. 

Michael said “My super-heros shirt.” 

Sam said “My Unicorn shirt.” (I’m sure Ralph Lauren would be thrilled to know that his polo player emblem could be easily mistaken for a unicorn.)

By the way, the clothes they were talking about were the ones they wore to school on FRIDAY, when it was 85 degrees, and then sat in a car with them for 4 hours to  NY.

“Um – those clothes were dirty.” I said with horror.

They both looked up at me innocently, “We know….we just kept wearing dirty clothes all weekend.” Michael said with a shrug.

Ok – it’s not the end of the world, but I would prefer if my kids didn’t go to family parties with people that we don’t see a lot, wearing dirty, filthy “Unicorn” and super-hero shirts like a couple of homeless people.

I threw the bag down and went in the backyard to question my husband.  Michael followed me trying to protect his Dad…”No Mom, it was all Granny’s fault!”

“Um – the kids said that your mother made them wear their dirty clothes to the party instead of the nice clothes I packed.” I said, hoping for a logical explanation.

He was leaned over filling up the kiddie pool, sweating. 

He looked up – rolled his eyes, and said “They’re lying.”

Ok – it’s Father’s Day – I decided to let it go.

I went inside to help the kids get into their bathing suits.  I told them to take off their cargo shorts and shirts and leave them on the bed to change back into after they were done with the pool. 

“But we have been wearing these clothes forever!” Michael
said.

“Yeah – these are our pajamas,” Sam said as he tossed them into the hamper.

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

“Mom – Granny made us wear these clothes as our pajamas last night.” Michael said with a horrified voice for effect.

What the hell goes on? Why would small children be put to bed in khakis?

I didn’t push it with my husband – seeing as it is Father’s Day and all.

Later my sister-in-law called and I told her the story – she laughed and said “It’s worse than you think – Sam went to the party in just a wife-beater.  His other shirt got
dirty at the park.”

This is a picture of my 4-year-old at the graduation party - that's appropriate right?

Ok – nobody was hurt and my MIL made a point to tell me that she bathed them twice, and she watched them, etc.  But really – sending my preschooler to a party like a crystal
meth addict and my 5-year-old to bed in heavy constrictive clothing is CRAZY!!  Mothers cannot leave their children’s side for a minute!!  

This is the "pajama top" my son wore to bed with his cargo shorts......

I was going to go on and on about how I can’t trust my husband to make sure things get done properly; but that would not be nice in the spirit of Father’s Day.  I will save that for another post.

The fact is – even though Moms usually do everything perfectly – there are some times when Dads come in quite
handy.  He does the yard work, he kills the bugs, he puts together toys, he grills, he takes out the garbage, he plays sports, the list goes on and on of activities and chores that I refuse to do – and thank God – he does!  

I love my husband – and even though he (and his family) have no regard for my wardrobe guidelines or proper party attire he is a great Dad. We are lucky to have him (upstairs right now doing air guitar with the boys to music) while I finish my blog.

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13 responses »

  1. Wow. I don’t think I could have held off even if it was Father’s Day. You deserve a present for that.

    Reply
  2. Let me remind you that your MIL was the same person who let her daughter lick sugar off a bleacher to keep her occupied at many baseball games of your husbands…but they turned put fine..that’s what’s granny’s houses are for staying up past your bedtime, eating forbidden snacks, getting away with everything and wearing dirty clothes out and suits to bed…right? Just be thankful you dont have a girl…could you imagine the atrocity then?

    Reply
  3. Oh, there are so many great quotes in here!! But my favorite is “we just kept wearing dirty clothes all weekend!” This is great. You are so patient to not blow up, being Father’s Day and all :) My mom once gave my newborn (four years ago) a onsie that said “What happens at Grandma’s, stays at Grandma’s” and now I know this is true!

    Reply
  4. Too funny – I bet the boys had a great weekend. What’s wrong with a few germs? That’s why kids get sick too often nowadays. Granny needs to tell them about Kim’s quote “Whatever happens at Granny’s, stays at Granny’s.”

    Reply
  5. HAHA! I feel your pain. I’m lucky if my husband has the kids out of their pj’s before noon when I’m not around. I shouldn’t get so iritated with him but how hard is it to get the kids appropriately dressed?

    Reply
  6. Hilarious! Sometimes my husband will fly my son to visit the in-laws for a couple days. I pack meticulously, and they return with a bag of perfectly-folded clothes that were never worn.
    Ew.
    I don’t even want to know. Just get in the shower while I boil the clothes I’m now taking off your back, son.

    Reply
  7. Classic “dad” story right there! Hilarious. We’ve had a few minor malfunctions ourselves with dad in charge… LOVED the unicorn shirt!

    Reply
  8. LOL! That is so typical of a father to do. He is never concerned kid’s clothing.

    Reply
  9. That is funny … sometimes my husband lets the kids wear the weirdest clothes. I think he does it because it makes me nutty!

    Visiting from Mama Kat’s :)

    Reply
  10. Hee! There’s *nothing* like what’s considered just right in dad’s eyes! Next time? Photos! You must get photos!

    Reply
  11. Pingback: Stockholm Syndrome and other possible side-effects « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

  12. Pingback: Shit happens….. « Lady Goo Goo Gaga

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